It’s all about them when it comes to a narcissist doesn’t mean that you are one if you focused on yourself only for a little while or a certain period of your life to get through a hurdle or get something done. It’s about the fact that everything has to be about them, and they have to be the only center of attention, even if the thing is totally unrelated to them or is totally about other people. Even if the thing has nothing to do with them, they somehow manage to take the attention off of you and redirect it towards themselves, even if the subject matter itself is of no concern to them. For example, your birthday has to somehow be all about them, and you shall be forgotten all day long during it, like it doesn’t matter. They are more important. It has to be about them somehow, and they have to tell you how hard life is and always has been for them, or that they never got a chance to celebrate their own birthday their whole life.