You have to create, even if you have nothing to say.

If you’ve been crushing it, in terms of creativity, or creative output, at some point in the past, but you had to stop somehow or for some reason at present because you don’t have the time, or you need to be responsible, and start being serious about making money, or whatever excuse out there that you can give for stopping, you will suffer from crushing withdrawal, for the rest of your life, until you go back to being creative again.

This is worse than someone who presumably has the creative potential, but never actually tried to live up to that creative potential. They never tried to create anything, their whole life, ever.

This withdrawal will not decrease in intensity, magnitude, amount, or severity, for the rest of your life, no matter what. It will not go away with time. Because it is not a wound or trauma you need to heal from.

It is something that you unlock within you.

Once it is out, it cannot be locked up again, ever.

You cannot unsee it. You cannot no longer know it, have it, or feel it.

You cannot curb it, contain it, repress it, suppress it, bypass it, dampen it, lessen it, decrease it, oppose it, deny it, disown it, invalidate it, ignore it, reduce it, stop it, or live as if it doesn’t exist any more, for the rest of your life, for good, no matter what.

It is not a luxury ability. It becomes who and what you are. It is fixed. It cannot be changed, altered, modified, or replaced. It is not a habit. It is your whole existence, and purpose of being.

But here you are, trying to live life normally, as if it doesn’t exist.

Good luck with that.

It will haunt you for the rest of your life. It will be the sole reason for your perpetual never-ending failure, suffering, misery, pain, apathy, depression, and lack of energy, motivation, and interest in anything and everything there is.

It will destroy your life. It will leave nothing behind.

It will be unstoppable. And it will be seeking vengeance, for you have betrayed her, and succumbed to a life devoid of creativity, after you’ve made love to her.

The guilt and self-loathing will be coming out of nowhere, and running through your mind consuming your thoughts, all the time.

No matter how successful you become, you will always feel like you have wasted your life. You have not lived. You failed. You have done and accomplished nothing, and it was all for nothing.

For one simple reason. You have created nothing.

You will always procrastinate more, if your default answer to the creative impulse is no.

When the creative impulse hits you, you have two choices.

Either you say no, and end up with nothing.

Or say yes, and end up with everything.

There is no middle ground.

You can’t schedule success or creativity.

You cannot be ready for anything, just because your schedule says so.

Creativity will always come to you in the form of a creative impulse.

You follow it, and you will end up with beauty beyond your imagination.

You deny it, you decide not to follow the creative impulse to its completion, you end up with nothing. No creative output whatsoever.

Creativity happens to you, hits you, comes to you, if you’re a creative individual.

It cannot be scheduled, bottled up and stored for later, or delayed until you’re ready for creating something.

You cannot decide to arbitrarily be creative at the moment, because it’s time to create.

You have to follow the creative impulse whenever it comes to you, no matter what.

Wherever it leads you, you have to follow it to its completion, until satisfied.

Or else it will stop coming to you.

But what if my life feels chaotic, disorganized, and all over the place because of this?

It won’t.

Following your creative impulses and exercising your creativity and creative energy, powers, abilities, and potential will activate your brain in a way that finally ends all chaos in your life. You will finally have a frontal lobe. You will finally have full executive functioning. You will finally have all your intelligence, powers, and abilities back in an unprecedented and unmatched way.

This certainly beats the hell out of the perpetual brain fog, lack of concentration, motivation, energy, enthusiasm, excitement, and desire or will to do anything that you’ve always had, when you tried to lead a life where you always had your creativity under absolute and total control, or even tried to shut it down altogether, to have an easier or more successful life without any creativity whatsoever.

A life where you had to push yourself to get things done, even the simplest and easiest of things or tasks there is.

A life where you struggle insanely to make the simplest, easiest, or smallest of decisions, even when it comes to the stuff that truly doesn’t matter at all, or does not make any difference whatsoever, now or in the future.

A life where you had to work so hard just to crush your creativity, abilities, powers, intelligence, and potential.

A life where you had to work so hard just to crush yourself, your core values and core identity, most authentic self, and who you truly are.

A life where you struggled so hard just to be normal.

Just to do the bare minimum.

Just to avoid failure.

Just to survive.

Is that a life where everything is under control?

Is that your definition of order? A life that is organized and totally going in the direction that you truly want? Is that your definition of intentional living?

Did you end up saving your energy more when you created less? Did you end up having more energy because you don’t deplete your energy through creative work, and because you don’t use all your limited energy on being maximally creative as much as humanly possible?

Or did you end up with no energy whatsoever, despite sleeping every day until fully rested, and exercising every day like a professional athlete?

Tell me, please, which is more under control.

Your life without creativity?

Or your life when you allow yourself to follow the creative impulse to its completion, whenever it comes to you, and wherever it leads you?

A life where you create as much as humanly possible, like there’s no tomorrow?

Nothing feels good like success. Nothing feels good like fixing your life, and solving the problems that are stopping you from living, responsible for your perpetual never-ending suffering, or making you miserable. 

You were told that there are more fun things to do in life.

You were told that you can have or experience pleasure and happiness, when you still don’t have your life together, doing other things that can make you feel good, are supposed to make you feel good, or at least have the potential to make you feel good.

You were lied to.

There’s no such thing as happiness, satisfaction, fulfillment, enlightenment, pleasure, actualization, evolving, improvement, or success, if you still don’t have your life together. If your life is not fixed yet. If you are still suffering. If you are still stuck or trapped in the same environment, or under the same circumstances, that have always been responsible for you being miserable.

If you are still living or trying to barely survive under the same unlivable circumstances, conditions, or environment.

If you are still experiencing pain or suffering because of any reasons whatsoever that are preventing you from living without being able to fully experience unopposed happiness, joy, fulfillment, satisfaction, and being or feeling elated or being in a good mood all the time, whenever you try to, because pain or causes of pain and suffering have to take place every single time you try to do so. Every single time you try to feel good, or experience happiness, joy, fulfillment, satisfaction, reward, or being in a good mood all your life.

The problem isn’t in the fact that life is not sunshine and rainbows all the time. The problem is the interruption of happiness every single time, by pain, or any of the causes of suffering or pain there is.

This is like interrupted sleep, every single time or millisecond you fall asleep, which is worse than not trying to sleep at all in the first place, under such circumstances.

The problem is that people tell you that you can’t thrive, grow, or have or live your best life ever if you live under a toxic environment, or unlivable circumstances.

No, you can’t live under a toxic environment or under toxic, unlivable, or abusive circumstances or conditions in the first place. You can’t survive, in the first place.

Thinking about happiness in this case is a joke. It will not work. It will not happen. It is impossible to be happy under such circumstances or under such toxic environment, no matter what.

This does not necessarily mean that you should not try to be happy under those circumstances, or try to do anything that could make you feel good or make you happy. In fact, you should try your best to remain happy all the time under such circumstances, to the best of your ability, for mental health reasons. For your own good, not because the environment is allowing you to do so, or helping you when it comes to your happiness, but because you need to be happy, under any circumstances, or despite the continued existence of the toxic environment and horrible unlivable circumstances. You need to be happy, regardless. Your body does not care whether the suffering is happening through no fault of your own, or not. Your body, your mind, and your inner child, want and need to be happy, regardless, no matter what.

All I’m saying is, there’s an exception to the above rule. You can experience mind-blowing happiness, sense of success, achievement, accomplishment, progress, fulfillment, satisfaction, and reward, under those circumstances, no matter how unlivable, horrible, or hard the current circumstances you’re stuck or trapped in right now are. And that is through one thing.

Making those circumstances, no longer exist.

Do less, and you’ll end up exhausted all the time, no matter how much, how hard, or how long you rest. The answer is always, to do more, no matter what.

The thing that is making you have no energy or motivation all the time is not lack of enough rest. It’s lack of progress in solving the problems that are making your life miserable. As long as you don’t have your life together, you will feel drained all the time, even if you’re doing everything right.

You don’t understand how energy works.

You think it’s like a pile of money that if you spend some of, you’d end up having less money.

The more money you spend, the less money you’ll have left.

You think energy works the same way.

I understand that you need to be well-rested, and sleep enough hours every single day, and never wake up unless you feel you’re fully rested, with disregard to how many hours you’ve slept.

But beyond that, beyond your brain and body being structurally fully recovered and repaired, and becoming good as new, you need to do more and accomplish more, in order to have more energy.

In other words, it will be as if you make more money, the more money you spend, as long as you spend that money on something that feels like an accomplishment and a great achievement.

If you spend your energy doing more, but what you have done does not feel like an accomplishment or an achievement to you, you’d end up drained, frustrated, depressed, demotivated, and feeling fully exhausted. You will end up having less energy, both in the short-term, and the long-term.

What makes people freak out when I tell them they need to do more in order to have more energy, is that they believe that this means if they have a boring job that they hate, that they have to do for like eight hours a day every single day, that they’d have more energy, if they worked twelve hours a day instead.

That’s the exact opposite of what I meant.

This will be spending more time and energy doing what does not matter, what does not make any difference whatsoever, and what does not give you a sense of fulfillment, or satisfaction, and does not feel like it was a huge accomplishment or achievement to you.

Which also means, you did less of the stuff that makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something great today.

You need to do more, of the things that give you more energy, the things that energize you, and make you feel alive. The things that give you a sense of reward, fulfillment, satisfaction, and happiness afterwards. The things that register as an amazing and great accomplishment and achievement in your mind. The things that truly matter. The things that are worth it. The things that make a difference. The things that you truly want, according to your core values and what’s truly important to you. And then you’ll have more energy.

Do less, and you’d end up having less energy, both in the short-term and the long-term, even if you sleep every day until fully rested. Even if you meditate for two hours every single day. Even if you exercise every day like there’s no tomorrow.

You will feel exhausted all the time, and like you have no energy at all, because even if you have all the energy in the world, you have done nothing.

The final outcome is all there is. The final outcome is all that exists. The final outcome is all that matters.

Outcome is everything.

Whomever told you otherwise has committed gaslighting on a profoundly disgusting level.

How you feel during trying to attain any positive outcome whatsoever is irrelevant, and does not matter, and does not make any difference whatsoever.

Only the outcome will set you free.

Only the outcome will liberate you, and destroy all your shackles and crush all your mental chains and restrictions.

The absolute crushing extreme perpetual inhibition you have all the time is not a sign of maturity, or being responsible.

It is not a sign of being fully developed, or a rational grown-up. It has nothing to do with being an adult. It is a sign of dopamine deficiency.

It is a direct result of low dopamine, serotonin, and reward, in your life.

That’s why if you tried to do more or overextend yourself, the whole thing will fall apart.

That’s why it is safer in your situation to not do anything, and hence the excessive inhibition.

Outcome changes all that, as long as that Outcome is worth it.

Only attaining the outcome you’re after changes everything. Only attaining the final outcome will make a difference.

Anything else is irrelevant. Anything else does not matter.

Anything else does not exist.