You might not have all the time in the world to enjoy the journey of transformation in this case.

Most of the self-loathing that you have might be originating from feeling that you are going back to your old self that you hated because it was bad for whatever reason.

Whatever that you think is your new self, for some reason, isn’t as solid and firmly established as you want it to be yet, which means you need to rush the process of developing your new self, the one that you have no reason to hate, faster than you think.

It’s like finishing building that new self is an emergency. You can’t afford to enjoy the journey in this case, with disregard to how long it takes you to get there. You are under threat. You are being attacked by people or circumstances that are trying to make sure you never make it. Never succeed in or complete the transformation. Don’t let them. Go as fast as you can. 

These attacks mostly come from sociopathic or narcissistic people who want to make sure you stay the way you are for good, because it is easier for them to victimize and abuse you as long as you are still your old self. It does not necessarily mean that your old self is weak or bad in any way. It just means that it could be easily abused by sociopathic, psychopathic, or narcissistic people. Even if it is still not your fault.

However, if your new self is a threat to the maintenance or continued existence of that abuse and victimization, the abusers will do everything in their power to keep you from being able to become that new better self that cannot somehow be easily abused by them like the older one.

Make sure that does not happen.

You need to transform into that new self by any means necessary, as fast as possible.

You need to become that new better and higher self as soon as possible, no matter what.