Why the new courses industry is problematic.

The moment you focus on selling your course and start talking about it in your social media posts is the moment you no longer are running a personal brand, but instead, just another business brand, and calling it a business also means it is not about helping people or providing them with value.

Just because you occasionally talk about your cat or pose in a picture with your children doesn’t mean that you are connecting with people on a personal level. They don’t care. They just follow you because you are rich and they wanna know how to become one percent as rich as you are without a job. Even if their CV is empty.

A personal brand is a method where a special person connects with people directly with no filters and with no agendas in mind. People just follow them because they are awesome as people and they wish they could get to know them in real life and sit with them and talk for hours on end, not do business with them, or get help with how to make their own empty baseless businesses break through and scam other people out of their money.

If the beauty of financial freedom is all you talk about in your normal posts that are not an ad that is directly trying to sell people something, then this is still not a personal brand. These are teasers. Appetizers. Only to lure people into your trap. If I can’t evaluate in a glimpse whether or not this thing is going to help me in my life before I buy it, then I’m buying it based upon having faith in it or in the person trying to push it upon me. I may be the ideal client according to them, but I may also be considered the ideal victim from any objective stand point.

I can’t believe that someone got some information or discoveries that can change someone else’s life to the better and only makes it available if they pay them a ton of money in advance. I can’t imagine that. No wonder they are calling themselves entrepreneurs and this is just business. People cringe when they hear someone saying this is bad for the healthcare business. It immediately implies that you are profiting over the lives and health of people, of real human beings. But how else can you cover the costs? Okay, so we have no choice in case of healthcare. You can argue about that. But in case of producing a good course. The cost is literally zero. No drugs. No expensive equipment. No tons of doctors and nurses that will get steady paychecks regardless. No preparation for surgery essential stuff. No labs for investigations. Just you sitting in front of a damned camera and producing sound out of your mouth. Don’t forget to hit record before you speak though. That’s it! And people might end up paying 25 thousand dollars for stuff like that. I can imagine someone paying 25 thousand dollars to buy mountains of books like we saw in the beauty and the beast. An endless library. To pay the same amount of money for information to a single entity is the literal definition of being scammed. But this is not the only thing. They keep instilling in you the notion that you are helpless without their courses. It’s impossible for you to figure it out on your own. LOL. So now learned helplessness is a virtue and is something that is being encouraged. All the talk about the fact that it is better to learn how to do something on your own instead of being handed a quick fix is now being swept under the rug. You just have to admit that you can’t do it on your own. You just have to admit that you don’t have what it takes. The ironic thing is that they tell you that they didn’t acquire the knowledge they use to build such courses through learning from any source but their own life experience. Until they understood the whole thing through practice. And they are going to charge you with thousands of dollars for it because you can’t do the same for free. Because you have no time. But patience is key, remember? Rome wasn’t built in one day, their last post ironically claims. But you have to build a viral YouTube channel in 2 months. The level of corruption of these people is sick, and knows no boundaries. You are just a money bag to them. You are just a victim on their email list that they are going to keep milking and haunting in perpetuity, because you can’t figure it out on your own. The disgusting lie that you cannot learn it on the internet for free is something they love to deliver over and over again with a sexy smile on their faces. The internet contains only the superficial stuff. The deep wisdom that takes years to fathom and decipher is found exclusively in their courses. If all of you know these things in your courses, how come this information is not easy to obtain? If such information was that scarce and that difficult to come across, why is it though that you all seem to have it? Did you guys all happened to discover the theory of relativity on your own isolated from each other coincidentally at the same time? Wow, what a coincidence.

If you succeed then the course is amazing. How dare you criticize it. And if you fail to produce the results promised by the course, if you failed to achieve the intended outcomes that because of which you thought about investing in such course, then it’s all your fault. Accountability matters. Take one hundred percent responsibility for your life. You failed to follow through or stick with the advice presented in the material you consumed. There’s nothing wrong with the material delivered. It was perfect. The proof? Testimonials. It worked for 2 percent of those who finished the course. It is you who did not apply it correctly. It is you who didn’t implement the strategies, tricks, hacks, advice, or recommendations right. There’s no such thing as it is useless for someone like me or it doesn’t work for me. Because no refunds bruh. You’ve already watched the show.

It’s okay to build a course. But what if the course doesn’t help me? I’ll go buy another one. And another one. Until I find what I was looking for. That is, in case I am naive or noob enough to believe that I can’t find the same information with the same quality of explanation and depth anywhere online for free. So in this case I’ll end up buying like 20 courses, each about five bucks tops. That’s a hundred bucks. Not the end of the world. But with the courses being at least 497 dollars on average, yes, this my friend, could be the end of the world for you. Especially when you realize that you were not limited by the lack of implementing a strategy that works, but by energy. You were too frustrated or burnt out to be able to push yourself and apply what you’ve learned in any of these courses. What are you going to do now? Buy more courses? Because, as a helpless person, what else can you do? Do an online search? (Gasp).

Let me repeat this for the people in the back please. I searched the internet for answers, and found none. I searched my mind, and found many.

Let that sink in.

Yes, you can discover things on your own. It is not impossible. Anybody trying to convince you otherwise should be a red flag that makes you stop. Why is this happening to me? Do I meet the criteria of one of their victims? What is wrong with me. Just simply tell them I don’t need your help. I don’t want to grow faster. I don’t want a shortcut or a quick fix. I’ll be patient. I’m already doing good. Tell them I’m not ambitious. I don’t want financial freedom. I just want to survive. Got a problem with that? Nothing is wrong with my bio. Please leave.

You get the idea. Wake up. Whenever salespeople try to beg you, guilt you, shame you, belittle you, tell you that you are their perfect fit, or ideal client, and talk to you as if you were the love of their life, it’s time to start panicking and asking for help. Oh, I forgot. There’s nothing wrong with you. You can figure it all out on your own.

And if you couldn’t, there’s always the internet, where you can learn anything for free. So chill.

The problem here isn’t that the dopamine rush that we get from pursuing or seeking pleasure is a bad thing in and of itself. It just awakens your mind highly enough for it to start being able to process stuff faster, which makes you become able to quickly or easily identify that your life is empty for other reasons. These missing things get noticed more readily due to the increased activity that comes from having lifted your dopamine levels slightly above the line of poverty or starvation. If anything it is just a test. An investigation technique or assessment tool that can detect that your life sucks due to many reasons or because you are missing many things in your life. The same happens with rich people and money. You’re too busy chasing survival level financial security to be able to complain about other things that you’re missing in life. Once you get that covered, other reasons for your misery start to surface unopposed, without being competed with by other unmet needs, or without getting repelled or resisted by a mind totally occupied by just getting survival needs met or covered.

Write your own constitution. But feel free to disobey its amendments any time whenever you believe this is the right course of action you should take. Don’t be a prisoner of your own rules, philosophies, or worldviews.

This post is about how to reconcile the two seemingly contradictory views of embracing constructive criticism because it is how you grow, and the fact that you shouldn’t pay much attention to what other people think.

The problem here lies in absolutism and worshiping commandments in a sense that clears any probability of you being on the wrong side of the debate of whether or not you’re a good person. Whether or not you deserve to be blessed or you deserve eternal damnation. You have to get through this battle in a very decisive manner that leaves no doubt behind as to whether or not you or your loved ones are doomed.

What happens here is that you will always be way behind those who chose to not judge things this way or through this measurement system. But you are refractory to learn from them because you have already demonized them beyond redemption as people who have double standards or are outright hypocritical.

Whereas your enemy utilizes these tactics at will without ever considering themselves to be the perfect description of what it means to be a monster of the dark side.

It really is that simple: childish mechanisms of thinking and evaluating things will always lead to primitive and weak worldviews or philosophies. The belief systems you’ve got are not the only problem here. How you think is equally guilty.

Instead of focusing on winning the ultimate logical debates, you should consider that things could prove themselves to be insanely useful, helpful, or beneficial, light-years before you can figure out why, or the scientific explanation of the underlying mechanisms by which it leads to the observed results or effects in the real world.

For example, the above case is one where you run into such challenge. I have to never ever care about what other people think. How can I pay attention to feedback or constructive criticism even if it is extremely amazing? The idea manifests itself because of your inherent fear of sin, of disobedience. It’s not just about the lack of fear of making mistakes or the notion that you shouldn’t aim for perfection because you’re never going to reach it. It’s about being okay with disobeying your own rules.

You don’t get to tell me it’s unconstitutional. Understand this: it’s people like us who make the constitution. You are the absolute monarch of your own life. You are the absolute emperor of your own empire. You’re the legend. You’re the ultimate dictator when it comes to the rules and laws that govern your own life. I understand that this is not the way governments should work, but this is the best way when it comes to self-management, or leading your own life. This is the best way to run your life. Be your own God. Until you overcome this barrier, you will always be the minion of somebody else who is manipulating you in the name of democracy, God, religion, love, or whatever. My life, my rules. Why is that a problem?

The result of this is not randomness or arbitrary decision making. The end result of this is massive flexibility and unlimited power.

When I criticize mindset fixing over complaining about your environment or circumstances, I have the flexibility and power to resort to any of the NLP techniques or manipulation of thought patterns when I have no other option to get to the intended outcome. As far as I’m concerned this is legal, and no one on earth that I’m aware of described cognitive behavioral therapy or Neuro-Linguistic Programming to be immoral, unethical, bad, or evil. Just pseudo-science. I have no hesitation or problem fully embracing techniques that could help me overcome my mental barriers that are standing between me and attaining the success that I truly desire, however religious and consistent I have been in emphasizing the fact that the environment, circumstances, and conditions that you are stuck with or struggling because of are almost exclusively responsible for you not being as successful as your potential can make you become, and for you not being able to automatically have the right mindset or be positive enough to succeed in the first place. I am not happy because I’m positive. I’m positive because I’m happy. And I’m happy because of the environment. These are my core beliefs and you can never shake me from that position no matter how hard you try. The reason I keep failing is because I have failed a lot in the past. Or because I haven’t succeeded enough in the past. That is gospel to me. If you are denying that or disagreeing with that, the least judgement or resentment I will have for you could be summed up in the following statement: you are privileged, spoiled beyond redemption, entitled, insanely naive, noob, and you have never tasted what real suffering or failing in life looks like. You also have no idea what you’re talking about. Still I have no problem with associating negative thought patterns with pain and a set of desired positive or enthusiasm-inducing thought patterns with pleasure in order to get ahead in life, solve any of my problems, achieve any great desired outcomes, reach a better quality of life, succeed at anything, or stop being stuck in a piss-hole or a horrible situation forever. This is because I’m not adopting an either or mentality. I can do anything I want. Not because I’m hedonistic or nihilistic. Not because I don’t give a damn anymore. But because I’m intelligent.

Do not try to make a full assessment or evaluation of your performance or how well you are doing in life or your career when you are not mentally well-rested enough.

Your mind cannot think well when you’re tired. Subsequently, the quality of your thoughts will dramatically decline.

People underestimate how difficult it is to keep a steady track of thoughts stringed together. People have no idea how hard it is to actively think, as opposed to just receive ideas or thoughts without any effort, thoughts that just come to them without necessarily meaning anything or having any bare resemblance to reality or what’s true or factual.

And people have no idea how energy consuming and reward draining the process of directed active goal oriented or driven thinking is.

Nevertheless, they choose the end of the day, when they’re really fatigued and depleted from any kind of energy that could sustain such processes at an adequate or acceptable level enough for you to trust in the validity of the conclusions you reach by exploring your problems through them, and give themselves the green light to comment on every aspect of their lives that they are dissatisfied with.

What do you think the conclusions would look like?

Of course you’d develop a firm belief that you are going through burnout. Of course your conviction of yourself as being depressed beyond help would become unshakable. Of course you’d feel like you’re a joke of an entrepreneur, and be absolutely sure that you’re a failure.

Nothing positive could come out of your mind when it is depleted from energy, when it is in its most fatigued moments, and you just love to pick such moments to think about everything and assess with utmost scrutiny how good you are doing in your life.

Instead of fighting negative thinking, you should instead focus more time and energy on fighting your perpetual state of exhaustion and fatigue.

Imagine someone telling you: you want this or that?

You give them an answer.

But it’s not enough. They ask you for more details. You are then presented with another choice.

You pick one.

They are still not satisfied. They give you further two subtypes to pick from.

And this keeps on going for quite some time.

Every single instance here you are denied reward, and the sense of having gotten the subject matter you’re dealing with over with so that you can move on, because of another instance of decision making that you have to deal with like a test that you have to pass first, before you are released. Before you get back your freedom. And before you earn the reward.

Decision making. What a lovely process. Your mind perceives it as an obstacle standing between you and making the difference that you’re looking forward to.

Please, give me something! You yelled.

And everybody else looked at you as if you are the one who’s crazy in this scenario.

We’re not here to make decisions. We’re here to make a difference.

Decouple studying from discovery. When you attempt to come up with a new idea, this requires you to be in a state that is different from that of acquiring information or learning. You sit down and think about something to talk about. This is the best way, as opposed to finding something new while you’re learning. You go and read a book, or watch a video for example, hoping that an idea gets generated in your head while you’re going through the material you’re currently consuming. That holds you a lot from exploring the new information or learning material that you’re going through at full speed. Also this makes you take too long and run out of energy before you come up with an idea that you can discuss or expand upon in your new piece of content. By the time you find the new idea you’ll be already too tired or bored to start the creative process of making your next piece of content. The best way is to detach the creative process from the learning process. Make each of the two processes take place separately, and not in the same session. Of course if you’re reading in a book and suddenly inspiration hits you and you feel you’ve got a lot to talk about, that is totally okay, and you shouldn’t suppress that. Act upon that immediately. Go create something right away. But you did not go initially with the intention of checking out stuff to find something new to talk about. You went to explore and learn, and you found something worthy of being put in a new piece of content as a byproduct or along the way. On no occasion should you resist such impulses. This is what the entirety of being a creative writer is all about. Writing because you got an impulse to write something down as it is and expose the rest of the world to it to the best of your ability. Each of the two processes, the learning one, and the creative one, should not be dependent upon the other. When you’re studying something you stay fully occupied with the learning or studying process exclusively. When you’re looking for an idea, or when you’re trying to discover something new to create a new piece of content about, dive right away into the creative process and start thinking immediately until you come up with something to make a new piece of content about.

You may notice that I told you elsewhere that if you can’t find something to talk about in your next piece of content that you should go read in books, watch videos, or listen to podcast episodes until you find something that you can talk about. This is in case of you failing to come up with a new idea or topic on your own through thinking or imagination only. If that happens, you go explore material made by other people until you come across something that you might pick as the topic that you’ll be discussing in your new piece of content. The new distinction here is that this is supposed to take place as part of the creative process, not during the learning process. The new thing here is that you isolate pure learning sessions from sessions where you intend to end up creating something new. For example, now you’re listening to a podcast episode to learn something new. That is what you have in mind. If you reserve learning as a source of coming up with new ideas only, you will not be able to learn unless you go with the intention of seeking to find any idea or a topic that you can talk about in your next piece of content.

So you go try to create something. If you can’t, then you explore content made by others until you find an idea or topic to talk about. The new distinction here is that it’s okay to sometimes go listen, watch, or read something made by somebody else with the sole intention of just learning or exploring what’s out there, without necessarily coming up with something that could help you in creating something new.

Both success and happiness are extremely important. Do not neglect or ignore either of them because you think the other one is the only thing that matters.

Success is how you’re doing in terms of the analytics. Your performance. Productivity. Achievement.

Happiness is how you feel. It is something that should be reserved for describing how good you feel. Your state. We really don’t need to cancel one term in favor of expressing how much the other term matters. It’s not happiness over success. It’s not giving up on happiness in order to make more money. Making more money shouldn’t be called success, unless you really try to make money and are attempting to assess your performance relative to how close you are from such a goal.

Success shouldn’t describe certain standards or choices in life. It shouldn’t mean accomplishing something in particular. Because success means one thing: accomplishing something you aim for. Whether or not this thing was money, doesn’t matter.

The problem is in giving success a meaning that falls out of its scope and then demonizing that meaning because you are for some reason depriving yourself from enough rest or having fun. And then say that success doesn’t matter, and is cold, calculated, and devoid of soul or compassion. Because you want to emphasize the fact that feeling good is not a sin. Being happy does not mean you’re irresponsible or incompetent. But sorry, you still can be happy and not successful, because no matter how hard you try to twist meanings and manipulate the facts, success is a distinct entity from happiness, and neither one of them should be canceled because the other one is more important, and they are not interchangeable. They indicate two separate and different things.

This is not a rant. This is not just trying to be philosophically or logically accurate for the love of it. This conversation matters and is totally relevant.

If you are not successful, you will fail at everything, including even being happy. See how important it is?

If you have some passion that you want to chase because you love it and it makes you happy, if you weren’t successful at this new pursuit, you’ll end up not just having failed at something, but you’ll also end up being significantly less happy than you ever wanted to be through following your passion.

Some people put off making video indefinitely because it is something visual and they’re more of a writer. I understand that. It’s like saying I don’t do live events or keynotes on stage because I’m an introvert. They may also make similar excuses for not starting a podcast.

This is because you want to make the visual or direct speaking to people on video or on stage the same as your writing. You can’t.

And as soon as you get that realization, you will not want your speaking to be a substitute for your writing.

You see, when we write, we modify what we say as we speak. We don’t get that chance anywhere else. Even if you edit every sentence in your video, you still have to say the entire sentence again correctly this time without any mistakes. That’s frustrating. And it makes you feel you’re pressured and tend to not speak as freely as you would if you were instead writing what you’re saying.

This means you shouldn’t try to get the same results from video or live events that you can get from writing.

It doesn’t mean that you’d intentionally make your videos worse, but you’d always understand that even the best of your videos can never be like the average quality of your writing.

I get so mad when Gary Vaynerchuck says that he doesn’t read or write. And he’s inspiring like the entire young generation of entrepreneurs, content creators, coaches, and influencers. So you won’t cover how important that is from someone like him.

Imagine yourself talking casually to a friend trying to explain your ideas to them. That is how your videos or even podcast should look like. Casual. A take it easy form of communicating information. Whenever you have something that is too heavy to be said in voice, then that should be reserved for the written realm of your content.

Do not leave a form or medium of communication untouched, just because it is not your main. Communicate heavily through written, audio, video, and even live events, as much as possible. This is how we rest.

For further clarification on this one check out the difference between the level of how I talk on social media, versus on my blog. I don’t try to make either one like the other. They are both different levels of complexity. On social media I’d tell you for example: Stay positive. And then leave. On the blog I would go for a deep dive on why you shouldn’t stay positive because that means you’re suppressing the deep unconscious thoughts that are not so positive because they are due to the fact that you’ve figured out things that are missing, that the absence of which is causing you to feel miserable on the inside. Fixing them is the better way to go instead of remaining happy anyway until you suddenly can’t take it anymore and crash. That’s why meditation might make you initially depressed.

So the point is don’t try to speak like you write. Video is not an alternative to writing. It’s a lesser form of expressing yourself. So don’t let perfectionism attack you from this front.

Perfectionism will make you procrastinate until you feel you can speak just as you write. If you do, I assure you, this means that your writing just sucks.

You know that I stutter when I speak too much because I’m used to editing every word as I write when I speak too? It doesn’t mean that I need to practice more speaking. It just means I shouldn’t aspire to make my spoken sentences vocally as eloquent as my written sentences.

Add to this the fear of speaking to the whole world while they’re staring at you and monitoring your every move on camera and that they may potentially judge you heavily and you will find it so hard not to tremble while your voice is shaking heavily.

You’ll find sometimes that words are failing to come out of your mouth.

You speak fluently with friends in real life, but this is a whole different story. I’m just psychologically preparing you for what’s to come so that you don’t panic or freak out and then quit.

Having a positive mindset, mental attitude, or perspective toward the outside world does not necessarily lead to success, happiness, or well-being, or increase your chances of succeeding at anything or making your life better in any way, shape, or form. It just leads to what it is: positivity. Which is good, but doesn’t solve anything, or make anything better. It just makes itself exist or be present, without adding anything else to your life aside from its own existence.

Yes, I get a lot of criticism whenever I mention that mindset adjustment and perspective manipulation don’t make a difference, simply because you can’t control your mind in dark circumstances. Instead your mind starts to attack you because it cannot find anyone else to attack in this case. This keeps spiraling into self-loathing and eventual depression. The only thing that makes a difference is the results. Making a difference in the real world. Making your external reality better. Fixing your environment. Solving your problems. Changing your circumstances to what works better for you. Even reading is a change in the external real world. People talk about mindset as if listening to positive, motivational, or uplifting podcasts or YouTube videos is a mindset change. No it’s an external reality change. Positivity is coming from the outside world into your mind. It’s a new habit. A distinct activity that puts you in a better mood. So this is not a mindset or perspective shift. It’s enjoying content that pumps you up and makes you more enthusiastic, energetic, and ambitious. I’m amazed at people who tell you it’s all a game of mindset when they have everything. When everything is infinitely perfect in their lives. So convincing. But when they were poor, they worked like eighteen hours a day for years just to get to where they are today. If it wasn’t that bad, and a positive mindset might make you in heaven even if you are going through the worst of circumstances, why bother torturing yourself for years just to lift yourself out of the poor class? Why bother succeeding financially if happiness was the ultimate success, and you can be happy just by fixing your mindset and perspective toward everything negative or hurtful in life? Why push yourself? Why not just chill and take it easy all the time? That is of course without mentioning the fact that money is not the only external thing that is not okay in your life. This doesn’t mean you should be pessimistic to win more in life. It just means that being positive or negative is irrelevant. It changes nothing. Except of course if you’re a fan of delusional thinking.

Listening to music that makes you be in a good mood is not a mindset shift or a change of your perspective on things or perception of reality. It’s an external event that falls under the category of being in a better environment.

Exercising that makes you feel good because of the endorphins isn’t mindset. It’s a change in the nature of what you practically do in the real world that becomes reflected upon how you feel. It’s not positivity. It’s taking action that leads to positivity. So which has led to which first?

There’s nothing that you can do to make the narcissist decide to no longer want to hurt you. Even if you gave them all that they ever want or ask of you. Even if you treat them the way they prefer or choose. Every course of action possible to take with them to make them not be angry with you will lead to the same outcome: You should hate yourself for being who you are and there’s no way out of this. You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. And that includes everything or every option you are presented with when dealing with the narcissist. Their whole moral code contains one thing: why don’t you let us abuse you all we want at will without making a fuss about it? Do you think you are better than us? Do you believe you are more important than us? If not, then this is how we become happy. Why don’t you want us to be happy like you. And the only way for us to be happy is to keep abusing you. This is how we become happy our way, on our own terms, and people are different. If you do not let us have our way, this means that you want to be happy but at the expense of us being happy as well. You want happiness for you only. You are hurting us by depriving us from what brings us happiness most: abusing you. You are putting your own happiness and life before us, and you are choosing yourself instead of us, which means you are a horrible human being, selfish, evil, and hate us for who we are. Yes we are bad people and you are hating us for who we are. It is you who is evil. The problem here is that the accusations that you are making towards them are the same that they are making towards you, and they are not making that up. They genuinely believe they are the good guys in this scenario. At least only when they are fighting with you. They believe their own lies during the fights, only to laugh at them after the fight is over. They know they are taking advantage of you. They know you are just supply to them. They know that they are evil. But they just have to act as if they are equal to you in terms of being in the wrong here. You are both bad. This is what they try to prove to you and to the whole world during fights. Everybody is flawed and horrible and we just have to learn to adjust and adapt to each other to get along in peace. There’s nothing special about them. They are as bad as everybody else behind closed doors. They try to brainwash you that all the happiness you witness everywhere on all the happy people out there is fake, just as everything about them. You must know that these people are not only evil, but they are so focused on destroying you to the best of their ability, by any means necessary, and legally, without the law enforcement having anything against them, without them getting punished by the law. Their life’s purpose is to destroy you. They derive the greatest pleasure from accomplishing that objective. They want nothing else in the world. They decided that there are other people in this world who are too happy and successful to be left alone without showing them how real suffering looks like. Without making everything in the universe about them, not you or anybody else in the entire existence. They’re determined to make you reach the highest level of suffering possible just because they know deep down that you’re better than them, and somehow they have no chance in life because of you and people like you, and it is unfair, so they dehumanize you and justify everything evil and harmful ever they do to you, because you already deserve it, because you are better than them, or in some cases, not necessarily better, but good enough to act as a supply for them to feed their delusions of being special, superior, and amazing in every way possible. Just a weak victim, who lets them have their way with them, until they are satisfied. The perfect victim. They think this way. They are that evil. And sometimes that evil person is your parent. Sometimes it happens to be your mother, or father, or both. Sometimes it is also your brothers or sisters. And it becomes so perfect because who do you think you are? Do you think you are right and all of us, your own entire family, is wrong and bad? Clearly you are out of your mind. You’re crazy. And your image, perception, and interpretation of reality is distorted and is always wrong. Nothing that you will ever do will make them happy with you. Nothing that you try to appease them with and calm them down with will ever make them normal with you. There isn’t anything that you can do to make them love you enough to stop torturing you until you die. Sorry, but there is no cure for evil. Sorry for having to burst your bubble. These are not rare cases. They are too many. Too many. And the only answer I know of is to cut them off entirely out of your life. No contact with the narcissist is the answer. And until you become brave enough to embrace such reality, I’m afraid you will remain a failure for life.