Stop competing with your past self and any of its accomplishments. Add to it. Expand upon it. Even if the rate by which you’re making progress is far less than it ever were before.

Instead of competing with your past self, add to the progress that it made.

Instead of thinking hey, I was so productive at that period of my life, I can’t do that now or be as good or highly productive as I was back then, and so I should think that whatever that I accomplish these days is never going to be enough, think how can you increase the amount of achievement you’ve already made happen in the past. Add to it. Expand upon it. Quadruple it. Instead of competing with it as if you’re two separate people who get nothing from the success of the other person. Trying to achieve in a way that makes sure that you did not achieve at a lesser level or rate than you did in the past is always coming from a place of competing with your past self, as if you’re two separate people, who don’t benefit from or get anything out of the success or the accomplishments of the other person.

Why are you doing that?

And if you fall short, you think less of yourself, or you think you are not trying hard enough. You are not doing enough. You are not moving the needle forward enough. You’re of insufficient moral character. You’re declining. You’re becoming weaker or worse as time goes by. Your best days are only behind you, and you will never be as good as you ever were in the past, no matter what, even if you’re still young as ever.

You seem to have forgotten the fact that you didn’t accomplish all of this in one day. You seem to be forgetting that you did not start out having a vision of accomplishing all this in mind.

You started gradually, and it snowballed from there. You started small. And you had no idea you’d end up accomplishing any of what you did. And now your past success is crippling you, holding you back in place, because you can’t compete with it. You can’t do that again. You can’t do something as huge or amazing as whatever that you’ve accomplished or reached in the past again, no matter how hard you try.

You forgot how you did it, and so you thought that it is impossible to be replicated again now or in the future.

But what if you did not try to be as good as you were at any moment in the past. What if you looked at it and said: I’m glad I did all this. Let’s add more to it. Even if it’s not at the same level of productivity, creativity, or quality, it still means that the overall progress you’re making is increasing gradually, on a consistent basis. And that’s not nothing. That is all that matters.

Think of it as making more progress, as opposed to competing with the rate by which you were making progress in the past, because sometimes no matter what you do, you can’t seem to be able to beat that again, no matter what you do, or how hard you try, at least for the time being.

Embracing your Creativity did not create your problems. It just exposed them.

Remember, creating more might make you feel like you have more problems, or make you feel bad, sad, or in a depressed mood, perhaps even frustrated or angry all the time, not because this is a natural thing that happens the more creative you become, or the more you create stuff, but because it makes you expand your awareness and raise your standards.

Creating more just gave you a boost to your intelligence and awareness that makes you able to realise how messed up your life really is. 

Creativity did not create that sadness or that screwed up life or bad circumstances. 

It just made you more stimulated and capable of becoming aware of these things.

It made you see your problems clearly. 

It made you notice why your life sucks. 

It made you see why your circumstances are unlivable and horrible, and that you can no longer tolerate that. 

Creativity did not bring those reasons for suffering to being. It just made you know that the only thing that is preventing you from raising your standards is the nature of your life and circumstances. 

Creativity did not create those circumstances and reasons for your suffering. They were there from the start with disregard to whether or not you’re creative. 

You just became rewarded enough to be able to become aware of those circumstances and reasons why your life sucks, and highly intelligent enough to no longer gaslight yourself when it comes to whether or not your life really sucks. 

The higher your intelligence, the lesser your tolerance to negative circumstances and painful stuff will be.

You cannot access those neurons that can detect why you are suffering and why your life sucks without enough Dopamine, Serotonin, and reward, and you got that from being massively Creative. 

Giving more time and energy to creative expression does not create more problems. It simply gives you the mental capacity to see them as they are, and feel more pain because of them, and no longer be able to tolerate any of them. All of this requires higher intelligence, stimulation, energy, Dopamine, Serotonin, and sense of reward. 

Stop associating Creativity with pain. Stop associating Creativity with failure in life. It has nothing to do with Creativity, no matter how time or energy consuming Creativity can be. 

There’s no excuse for not being Creative. 

If you are creative and you are not making the most out of your creativity, you are doing so on purpose. It is your decision, and I don’t know why you chose to do so. 

You have to settle for producing mass quantities of creative output, even if at the expense of quality, in order to be able to produce high quality creative work or output later on.

Build momentum first, even through low quality output, progress, or work, and then focus on what could be done to reach the desired higher quality.

Without enough momentum and reward, you won’t be able to go so far. You will find yourself spending hours and hours and blowing off endless amounts of energy just trying to get a single piece of creative work perfect, just because you find it too hard to think and use your abilities, as if you’re trapped inside yourself, unable to move, because you are still low on reward or sense of achievement and making progress.

In the end, you’ll find yourself exhausted from the start, with little to show off as the final finished product. You will accomplish way less, with much greater energy consumption or drainage unnecessarily, or you will do less with more energy unnecessarily. You will spend most of your energy doing less creative work for no reason, just because you started off with zero dopamine, reward, or sense of accomplishment, which is not necessarily your fault, and ended up with very low energy, because you failed to generate enough momentum, because you didn’t accomplish enough recently to satisfy your creative needs, because you took too much time and energy trying to get less work done, because you focused on higher quality attainment from the start, at the expense of quantity.

And you cannot generate enough momentum without higher quantity. Create more first, and then worry about creating better. You cannot get to high quality creative output without high quantity creative output. It’s impossible. Not because you need more practice to develop your skill and sharpen your creative potential and abilities, but because you need more reward, dopamine, and serotonin, or sense of achievement, accomplishment, or fulfillment that is consistent and frequent enough to keep you over a certain minimum baseline of reward, dopamine, serotonin, or sense of accomplishment, achievement, reward, or fulfillment that is enough to keep you able to use your powers and creative potential or abilities in the first place, which you cannot create high quality creative output without.

You cannot access your higher powers and intelligence if you are not rewarded enough to begin with. You cannot create anything that is not absolute garbage if you are low on reward from the start. And you cannot get yourself off of reward rock bottom, without having enough quantity of creative output on a regular basis. And you cannot get that quantity of creative output without compromising on quality, at least only when you’re still starting out. That is, the very first few pieces of content you create and publish have to be low quality, even if you have the skill, talent, ability, and creativity to create massive quality creative output from the start, because you are still low on dopamine, serotonin, reward, and sense of accomplishment, achievement, and fulfillment. You have to settle for less and lower your standards of creative output quality, until your creative genius kicks in. You think it is always going to be that hard forever, but that’s not true. The problem is that you do not believe that a higher quality of functioning and life exists, once you start reaching higher levels of reward, dopamine, serotonin, and sense of accomplishment, achievement, and fulfillment. You say no from the start to putting in the work, because everything is pure labor for you, because you are always low on dopamine and the above mentioned stuff. And you are judging that it’s not worth it, based upon your previous experience, which was all a struggle to get the simplest of tasks done, because you are perpetually too low on everything. Everything depletes you in an instant. So why bother.

The solution isn’t to become more powerful.

The solution is to create more, and faster, even if at the expense of quality, in order to build that momentum.

This has nothing to do with perfectionism. This is just you being low on reward, momentum, sense of creative accomplishment or achievement, and dopamine and serotonin. 

Sometimes less is more. That should be about quality, not quantity. At least at first, when you’re still just getting started.

“Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. It’s the only way to become who you were meant to be.” – Kylo Ren

Aiming to go back to what you were like before your traumas took place is not the way to go about your healing. 

There’s something about going back to your old self that does not sound so appealing to you, and that’s why you encounter some sort of resistance every time you try to do it. 

Deep down inside, you know you failed because you were your older self.

Trauma is about being helpless in a situation where you feel powerless and having no control over any of the painful or negative stuff that is traumatising to you. Going back to your old self will only ensure getting traumatised again in the future if you happened to find yourself in such a traumatic event or situation again. 

You don’t have to go back to your old self in order to heal.

That’s why you think that you’re doing everything right and you’re still not making any progress towards your healing.

Remember, even if you were traumatised through no fault of your own, you failed in the past when you were your old self, whether or not your old self was the reason behind that failure.

You have to evolve, one way or the other, in order to make sure that this kind of trauma or any trauma whatsoever can never happen to you ever again, no matter what. That’s the only way you can heal, for good.

Self empowerment is the only way to go here. Self-improvement, not just self-love and acceptance. You have to become more powerful. You have to. 


Stop trying to go back to your old self. 


“Don’t wish things were easier, wish you were better.” – Jim Rohn 


If you only knew the power of the dark side…

Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

He told me you killed him.

No, I am your father…

At least you were intentional about how exactly you would like your time to be wasted.

Filling your to-do lists or calendar with random useless tasks or stuff that does not make your day look like what you really wanted your life to be like every day is like telling yourself this is exactly how I I would like to waste my time or life today.

Unlike others who just waste their time randomly doing whatever that comes to mind on a moment by moment basis, you actually took the time to schedule and specify exactly how you intend your time to be wasted. 

You’ve perfectly described how you’re going to waste your time in advance, doing exactly those specific activities, at those exact specific hours of the day, during those specific days, in order to have clarity of mind and control over how your days are going to look like. 

I love you. You are significantly ahead of the general population, who accomplish the same objective totally randomly while maintaining absolute chaos and uncertainty, and without ever using a schedule or a to-do list. 

Even though you both have reached the same destination or outcome, at least, my friend, you were slightly more organised. 

Without core unshakeable values and clarity and definitness concerning what you’re aiming for and what you truly desire in this life and how you want your days to look like, organisation tools like calendars and to-do lists will serve nothing but make the already established and existing chaos and lack of outcome in your life happen in a way that is more organised.