We can’t all have imposter syndrome. Something doesn’t feel right.

It’s not necessarily imposter syndrome. But you want to think it is, because this would mean you’re awesome and there’s nothing wrong with you. You are enough, and you don’t need to learn anything new or work on yourself any further.

When you start to dismiss something that is leading you to learn more and improve yourself harder, as imposter syndrome, or as a negative feeling you shouldn’t pay attention to or care about, in order to pander to your self-esteem, I’ll also start getting suspicious, simultaneously. I’m not sure you are a reliable source when it comes to determining whether or not you really care about competence and being really good at what you do.

You want to be enough from the start, without ever qualifying. Which means you and I don’t want the same thing. You are willing to have everything without deserving any of it, and I will work to infinity, even post success, in order to earn what others thought I deserve.

You have maximum self-esteem from the start, which means everything you do has to match that high level of self-esteem in terms of quality. Which makes making mistakes that no one who deserves to have such a high self-esteem could afford to make so threatening it has to never take place, no matter what. Because if you make that kind of mistakes that only a beginner would make, that would be inconsistent with your infinitely high self-esteem that has nothing to do with the truth about you or how good you really are at anything whatsoever. So, you will become someone who cannot afford to make any mistakes whatsoever, no matter what. In other words, so neurotic you can never be abundantly creative, even if you have what it takes. Even if you have the potential. That high level of neurosis makes you think that what you have is a very high standard for quality that is on par with ultimate perfection. So you call it crippling perfectionism, when it is just exaggerated fear of making mistakes in order to never mess with your self image. Because calling it perfectionism makes you look like the good guy. It means you want everything to be perfect and of maximum quality possible for you to relax and be at peace, because you are so ambitious, because you know you have infinite potential, and you understand that success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure, so you aspire to make everything you create an accurate reflection, or representation of what you’re really and truly capable of, so you try to make everything as best as you could; nothing short of perfect, right? But you and I know that’s not true. You just don’t want mistakes. You don’t want anything that could be criticized to exist anywhere in your work. You don’t want any living proof of the fact that you don’t have what it takes to consider yourself one of the greatest people of all time. And that’s why it always feels like you’re an imposter, no matter what you do or how good you think what you did is. Everything has to pander to your self-esteem that has no evidence to back it up, no proof of its existence, and nothing that can ever indicate that you deserve it. Any mistake means you’re incompetent. Every mistake reminds you of the truth. Because you decided to have self-esteem that has nothing to do with reality. That’s why you want to live in denial, and move mountains in order to never feel bad about yourself.

You had no problem with lying to yourself when you said you are globally good enough, in order to not feel the wrath of what self-loathing could do to you, with disregard to whether or not you really are good enough at anything or for anything. You just said it to yourself, because it helps, and it works. But somehow learning like crazy and working so hard on yourself to improve yourself enough to make whatever self-esteem you have become something grounded in facts, the truth, and reality, isn’t something that is helpful or beneficial for you at all, so you rapidly dismiss it as imposter syndrome without even thinking. And you don’t have any problem with that. You don’t seem to find that disturbing, in the slightest. After all, even Jennifer Lopez had imposter syndrome at some point, and of course, you think of yourself and Jennifer Lopez as equals, when you’ve barely even scratched the surface. Oh my God, I want my work to never fall short of a certain standard of perfection and infinite quality I’m willing to move mountains in order to make that happen. What is wrong with me. I must have perfectionism, and I need to get rid of it, in order to become a normal person, successful like everybody else, even at the cost of one of the most important qualities I have that makes me care about creative work in the first place. Even if it’s my very own nature. How do I do that? Not by never worrying about mistakes or focusing on avoiding making mistakes every step of the way, but by lowering my standards. Now you have no problem with lowering your standards, even if that meant sacrificing the quality of your work. Despite having massive self-esteem out of proportion to what you really deserve. And you also need to suppress the tendency to keep learning like there’s no tomorrow, like your life depends on it, if you think you got that desire or impulse due to imposter syndrome, because knowledge and competence don’t matter. All that matters is keeping that fragile self-esteem intact, with as many lies and delusional thinking as humanly possible. Nothing to see here at all, you guys, nothing to see here.

It is not entirely about hiding evidence of abuse. They need it to be able to keep deluding themselves into believing that there’s nothing wrong with them.

A narcissist or a psychopath don’t pretend that they’re the nicest people on earth to strangers or everybody that knows them in order to hide the fact that they are abusing their victims behind closed doors only. They do so in order to obtain positive supply or fuel as well, comprised mainly of feeling good about themselves because others perceive them to be good people or good at something. They don’t have to receive compliments on the daily. They just have to be perceived as amazing people who are spectacular in every way by everybody but their victims. That makes them feel good about themselves. They need that to maintain their delusion of being amazing despite all evidence pointing to the contrary. And that is why they need that positive supply or fuel, because they can’t have any evidence to support their claims that they are awesome and amazing except from believing that all others believe that they are really that good. They can’t survive without such false or fabricated evidence because they can’t demonstrate any other evidence, whether strong or weak evidence, in order to support those grandiose beliefs they have about themselves. And they will find none, even if they wanted to, no matter how hard they try, for a simple reason: they are trying to prove something that is absolutely and totally false and doesn’t exist. It’s not a matter of something that is true that they cannot seem to find evidence for it, it’s a matter of something false that they themselves know that it is false, but they try to delude themselves into believing otherwise by manufacturing false evidence or unreliable evidence for it. As you can see, the reason they are hell bent on obtaining positive supply from other people has little to do with hiding the fact that they are abusing you behind closed doors. As you are always told, don’t take it personally. They will try to pretend to be the opposite of what they truly are, with or without you. With or without abusing you. They are not so related. Making other people less suspicious of the abuse going on behind closed doors is almost only a byproduct. They need to feel good about themselves through delusional methods or pathways anyway, because they can’t obtain that self-esteem from within, because they have no ego. There’s no self to feel confident about in the first place. They are too immature to face the truth. Whatever truth that feels inconvenient, they move mountains to deny it, because they can’t face it like a grown-up.

You might be wondering, why would someone who is invested in obtaining such huge amounts of positive fuel or supply do everything in their power to not get any of such fuel or supply from you, the individual they’re abusing behind closed doors? The answer is simple: they are getting that positive fuel or supply from you, and plenty of it, every time you pay attention to them. Every time you interact with them. Every time you engage with them. And when they have enough of positive fuel from you, they switch to seeking negative supply or fuel from you. The devaluation. The discard. They need to hurt you, in order to feel good about themselves. Since they can still hurt you, then that means that they’re so amazing to the extent that they can hurt you. For some reason they feel competent, important, superior, amazing, strong, worthy, valuable, skilled, talented, or good enough just because they were able to hurt or harm you one way or the other. That gives them negative fuel or supply. And they can only do so to their victims, because other people will not allow them to get away with such treatment. Other people will never tolerate that kind of behavior. Because other people have options, but you’re simply stuck with them with nowhere to go. You cannot escape the abusive situation right away, and that is why it’s happening to you. It’s not that if they kept exclusively abusing you, you’ll definitely leave them for good, so they have to balance that with some good days. It’s because part of the humiliation is to abuse you to the fullest, and then manage to convince you to stay after all this. And thus, in this case, the good stuff that they did that made you stay, is only part of the abusive experience. It is still a major part of the abuse that they intentionally exercise upon you, because they obtain self-esteem from the fact that they were still capable of making you stay after all that abuse. They are aware of this, and it makes them obtain positive fuel or supply, because it means they’re so dangerous and superior they can control you to no end, to the extent that they can force you to do the impossible: stay after having gone through all of this abuse from this specific individual. Manipulating you, is part of what makes them feel good. That’s why they lie about stuff that doesn’t matter. That they don’t have to lie about. Managing to manipulate you makes them feel superior and so good. And it proves to them that you’re totally under their control, which means they have secured an endless source of fuel or supply, at least for the time being. Everything is part of the plan. You perceiving the good days as a sign that there’s still good in them is a source of positive fuel and supply for them. It makes them think they’re so good they can mislead you to that extent. They are so good they’ve managed to make you believe that the good treatment isn’t an essential or integral part of the abuse. You are now gaslighting yourself. They have managed to manipulate you that much and to that extent, which gives them positive supply or fuel, because it makes them feel superior enough. It makes them feel better than you and better than everybody. Still, hurting you might serve as pure negative fuel or supply for them, because seeing you in pain makes them feel good, gives them pleasure and reward, even if it does not necessarily mean that they are so great or amazing. They are directly rewarded through harming or hurting you, or causing you pain, with or without that indicating that they are so superior or that they should feel good about themselves because they were capable of harming or hurting someone, or causing someone to be in pain.

You now can accomplish more in less time. Own it. Don’t oppose your newfound abilities.

Just as there’s something called oversleeping or sleeping too much, there is such a thing as over-meditating, where all the effects of meditation backfire if you cross a certain threshold. In this case, you can expect more harm than good from a thought-streaming meditation session. You will emerge with far greater problems from the meditation session compared to before you started it. Not only will you not get the expected positive benefits of the session, you will start getting negative effects just because you meditated for too long today.

I want you to imagine doing nothing for an entire month. What effect could that have on you. This is exactly what happens when you meditate for too long, or when you go for too long thought-streaming meditation sessions.

That is a problem because most of you think that you need to start small at first, and then keep increasing the duration of the session gradually until you reach the big numbers one day. You know, hitting an hour or two of meditation daily, for example.

It is the exact opposite, because as you know from my earlier work, I only recommend thought streaming meditation. Anything else is contraindicated, should be avoided, and should never be practiced under any circumstances. Any other type of meditation or anything else that you can call meditation or can ever be categorized or described as some form of meditation or meditative practice or technique, is very harmful for you, unless proved otherwise, and should be avoided to the best of your ability.

It is the exact opposite, because as you practice thought streaming meditation longer, you will find it harder to sustain the session, because when your processing speed increases, you will need less time to process everything and clear the information overload. You will need less time to get all the benefits of the meditation session, because now, you can do everything that can take place during the session, significantly faster, or in less time than you used to, when you were still starting out. The session will end up getting harder to finish, the longer it becomes, because there’s nothing else for you to do in it at the moment. You will then be like you’re in chains despite having all the energy in the world. Further proceeding through the session in this case will be crushing for your spirit, because it holding you back from experiencing life to the fullest. You will be trapped, because you no longer need to meditate at the moment, until the session is over.

If you’re unaware of this fact, you might find yourself gradually increasing the duration of each subsequent session in the hopes of getting the full benefits of meditation you used to easily get in the past just by sitting there doing nothing. But longer is not always better, at least not when it comes to thought streaming meditation, which can also take place in a typical pure resting session unintentionally. You will find that it is sometimes inevitable for you to get through an entire resting session without ever engaging hard in thought streaming along the way. Nothing wrong about that. Nevertheless, it will definitely take from your ability to go for pure or combined primarily thought streaming meditation sessions later on for the time being. Again, because now, you need to meditate less. You can end up being hopeless about ever getting the full benefits of meditation again. But there is hope. You still can. You only need to decrease the duration of the meditation session. This my friend, is the ultimate example of less sometimes being more, at least in terms of quality and expected benefits.

Don’t take it personally. There’s nothing wrong with you.

A narcissist wants everything that has anything to do with you to become associated with pain in your mind in order to paralyze you into a helpless victim.

Don’t take it personally doesn’t only mean they are filled with rage and they just want to take it out on someone. It also means that what they’re criticizing about you isn’t a problem or a shortcoming even from their own sick perspective. It is just something that could be criticized. The purpose of that criticizm is to make you think that this is something that you should stop doing, although there’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing, so that you end up doing nothing at all in the end, because everything that you do and everything about you is wrong, bad, ugly, disgusting, and immoral. So you end up out of options. That’s how you end up doing nothing to fight back or defend yourself, because you don’t want to be criticized any further. In the end, you will find that you have been conditioned to do nothing in the face of whatever that they ever do to you. This is where you’ll notice a huge smile on their face. A smile of victory. They have crushed you into submission. Into the ideal victim or supply. Whatever utterance you can ever make is going to be made fun of. Whatever that you can ever say or do can and will be criticized by the narcissist instantly, like they know it’s objectively wrong and disgusting ever since they came to this world. All in an attempt to make everything that can ever come out of your mouth associated with pain. The purpose of their life is to make you associate everything you can ever say or do with massive amounts of pain, until you no longer exist. I do not believe, given the circumstances, that going no contact is still up for debate. It’s not optional. It’s a life saving measure. And there’s no alternative.

It is time for you to embrace masculinity as an attribute you need to have an endless amount of in order to become the highest version of yourself.

Masculinity shouldn’t be regarded or considered to be something animalistic, primitive, irrational, savage, or troublesome. It is not something that contradicts with being intelligent or wise in any way, shape, or form as if they are mutually exclusive entities. You don’t become less intelligent or wise by becoming more masculine, or because of increased masculinity.

Masculinity isn’t something that you should work on suppressing in order to become better in any way. It is not something that you should remain indifferent towards either. If anything, it should be regarded, considered, or treated as one of your main or major abilities that definitely make you better, if not the most important one of them.

They can’t even defeat each other.

Don’t take the fact that you couldn’t defeat the narcissist ever or for good as a sign of weakness.

Even an equally malignant narcissist will also fail at such endeavor, no matter how hard or long they try.

You cannot defeat something like that.

At least without breaking the law.

Don’t waste your time or energy.

You gotta implement no contact not as a form of counterattack or passive aggressive vengeance, but out of disgust. You’re so sick and disgusted, you want out.

The reason why you’re struggling with a great deal of anxiety that happens almost always right after you post a reels or a TikTok video, compared to what you normally go through when you post something else.

Let’s call a spade a spade. You don’t have imposter syndrome necessarily. Reels are being pushed toward people who are not already following you.

So in case the Reels video does well, you will very likely get endless hate comments.

If it doesn’t do well, you worked hard for nothing, and it implies implicit judgment by people who thought it was too bad for them to bother checking out.

In these damned if you do, damned if you don’t scenarios, you are very likely to feel stressed or anxious regardless.

This will definitely negatively impact your ability to regulate negative emotions, which would make it harder for you to make the case that you’re not an imposter whenever your mind throws such a suggestion at you. In other words, you will find it harder to defend yourself against the allegations coming from your mind that claim that you are an imposter.

Whatever that they’re criticizing about you, especially when the criticism gets intense, is an accurate description of what they are. They’re talking about themselves.

All who want to convince you that you need to hate yourself have more and bigger reasons to hate themselves than you could ever have, that’s why they’re jealous and think it’s unfair.

If they had anything to lose if such attacks were done to them, they wouldn’t even think of doing this to you.

I want you to imagine that for a moment.

They don’t have to be good people to stop themselves from trying to deliberately hurt you, they just have to be afraid that it could be done to them one day. Since they have nothing to lose in case that happened to them, they don’t care. They are not afraid, because you can’t hurt them.

And you still want your self-esteem to be predicated upon what they think of you.

Your refusal or reluctance to do the internal part or aspect of going no contact with your abusers is why you can’t establish full no contact in the real world or external reality.

Most of you think of no contact as some form of option to be implemented only if available or possible. Something that can only exist in the outside world or the external environment. Like watering a tree, for example. You are still hopefully the same kind of person who believes in and understands the importance of mindset. You might go as far as saying or believing it’s all mindset, or everything is about mindset. Yet, you fail to apply that when it comes to no contact. You dismiss or consider it to be something that is exclusively present or existing in the external world or environment, with disregard to what takes place inside of you.

The internal, the mindset part or aspect of no contact is you’re dead to me. Forever. Effective immediately. You don’t exist. You have zero importance.

None of you claiming that you can’t implement or establish it has done the internal work or mindset part or aspect of no contact. And that is why you think it is impossible for you to go no contact in the real or external world or environment. You are again, stuck where you hate, because of your mindset.