There is resistance. The question here shouldn’t be how to overcome or eliminate it. It should be why.

Most impulses revolve around the realization that you can do this thing right now. This is the perfect moment for doing this thing, and we’re so ready and enthusiastic about doing it right now. Ignoring these impulses repeatedly for no real reason means you’re giving your body a signal that you’re not that type of person who acts on impulses.

You are telling your body that you don’t care about being ready to do what you want or what looks like a good idea to make best use of your time or energy. After you manage to convince your mind or body that it’s not a big deal to not make the most out of your time or energy, you will gradually not only become less impulsive, but you will fail to keep pushing yourself to keep going when you don’t feel like it as well, even if you really want to keep going. Even if what you’re pushing yourself to do is totally the right thing to do or the best thing to do at this moment. For a simple reason, you didn’t care about doing it when you had the chance, when you were totally ready to do it perfectly. Why on earth would it make sense for your mind or body to push you to do it or to persevere when you’re not as ready to do the thing, whatever this thing is? When you had the energy or time to do it, you resisted giving in. But now when you totally don’t have the energy or time, you think doing it right now is a good idea. And you don’t want to wait for perfect alignment or readiness before you jump in. You just want to push yourself anyway, because this is how you develop resilience, and this is how you can get things done. Push yourself, even if you don’t feel like it, but resist and hit the breaks every time it feels like the most perfect moment to do something, just because it came to you in the form of an impulse. You have no idea how much that mindset is significantly contributing to massively exacerbating whatever self-loathing you already have to begin with.

Your body notices when you devalue intelligence and prioritize being stupid, and starts adapting to this by crushing whatever there is that can ever make you special.

Why you need to remain turned on cognitively all the time unless you’re really unable to do so because you’re too tired to do anything.

Just like you need coffee to come up with better ideas as to what you should be doing with your day, and you are less likely to have exciting suggestions in case you decided to come up with ideas for what you should do today to make best use of your time before drinking any coffee, you need to be fully turned on cognitively in order to figure out what would be the best course of action you should take today to make your life better or to make best use of your life. If you wait until there’s something that makes it absolutely necessary for you to wake up in order for you to start operating at maximum capacity, you will never have anything that makes that necessary unless it’s something that you hate. You will never come up with a suggestion that makes it necessary for you to fully wake up on your own. You will just be physically present there until it’s bedtime. Until the day is over, and keep wondering why time flies by too fast. Because whatever suggestions that you come up with will be a result of what your brain can come up with in that state of minimal activity. It should come as no surprise to you that whatever suggestions you can come up with in this case will always be the least that you can do. The least that you’re capable of doing, compared to your full potential. Even if you’re well-rested, you’ll always feel tired. Because you can’t do anything while you’re in this state of minimal brain activity without getting tired in no time, literally after a few seconds from beginning to do it, whatever it is. And since you have the gift of foresight, you will anticipate that you’ll get tired even before you begin, and thus you’ll end up not even trying to do this thing, whatever this thing is, even if it’s really a very easy thing to do. You don’t know what to do today because you are unable to think or do anything in that minimally active brain state, not even make a plan for what to do today, not even in your head, not even if this plan is just about coming up with one item for a to do list. Even if you want to have a single suggestion for what to do today, you will fail, and you will end up chasing whatever primitive impulse or random urge that shows up first on your mind. And the smarter you are, the stronger these urges will be, and thus if you’re really extraordinary, you will find that almost nobody else has to deal with these problems every single day like you do, because they don’t have any impulses to begin with. They don’t have a capacity for generating strong irresistible and irrepressible impulses in the first place. And then you’d think that this is because there’s something wrong with you, and then you might end up getting addicted to crushing your spirit through thought suppressive activities like conventional meditation where you ignore your thoughts and go back to focusing on your breathing again. Thinking that regarding the process of thinking itself as just meaningless noise that you should ignore with disregard to the content or nature of those thoughts is the ultimate level of wisdom, enlightenment, or actualization there is for anybody, even someone like you. The answer to this is not to run your life on autopilot. It’s through turning all the engines on at maximum capacity, and operating with all your powers working at full speed and capacity from the start, no matter what, with disregard to the situation at hand. When you feel you’re too tired to operate at maximum capacity, you can then rest all you want by doing the exact opposite, running at minimum capacity and speed, until fully rested. There’s no life for an adult genius person outside of this. You cannot bypass this, and end up being something that is not below average no matter how hard you try.

Picture yourself now in your current state, and notice where you are running everything from in your head at the moment. Notice the places in your head that seem to be too asleep or turned off as if they don’t exist at the moment. Try to activate those regions of your brain by feeling them working just like the other centers that are currently already working from the start without you even pushing them to wake up or work. Make sure no center, region, area, or place in your entire brain is left behind without being fully activated or turned on. Without you fully activating it or turning it on so that it starts working again at maximum capacity, speed, and intelligence. No center gets left behind. Feel that they’re all now working together in harmony, as if they’re one entity, as opposed to every center for themselves. As opposed to every area running on its own while all other areas are asleep. As opposed to running one region at a time. As opposed to having only one part of your brain activated and being forced to handle every single situation or thing that gets thrown your way while the rest of your brain is half or even totally asleep.

Eliminate any excuse or limiting belief that stands in your way that says this is wrong or you cannot sustain this for more than a few seconds. Be yourself to the fullest.

You cannot break what’s flexible. Sometimes acknowledging the truth holds you back even further. Sometimes the truth will set you free. Sometimes ignoring the truth leads only to negative consequences. Sometimes succumbing to the truth becomes why you keep failing over and over again. Being too focused on the rules with disregard to the outcome of sticking to those rules is why you’ll always keep failing. There’s no honor in being restricted by something that you only made up to make your life easier or better. And in the pursuit of that outcome through strictly utilizing those rules you end up straying away from that outcome in the end. You forgot why those rules existed in the first place. And you ended up worshipping the rule or the method instead of focusing on why you have those rules in the first place. You forgot to focus on what really matters, the outcome. And that, my friend, is what happens when you are not clear on what really matters in this world or life to you.

Sometimes you need to crush your self-esteem, to the point where you don’t give a damn anymore, in order to access your highest creative self.

Exposure to other people’s written words in massive quantities has the capability of reducing the perpetual neurosis that you have concerning the quality of your work or creative output, because it makes it inevitable that you come to the realization that whatever sense of importance that you ascribe to yourself as a creative person or to your work as unique, phenomenal, unmatched, or unrivaled is not an accurate representation of reality, but is somewhat, if not entirely, delusional.

That effect can only be expected after consuming massive amounts of other people’s work only. It has to arrive as a result of unconscious processing that gives you that conclusion. If something is not strong enough, it will be easily dismissed as not a threat to your sense of self worth without much unconscious processing needed. In order to trigger the full unconscious processing of everything in your mind, you have to receive a great deal of information or input that justifies the initiation of such process. You have to read a ton of textbooks.

Here is where comparison becomes inevitable and any attempt to resist it becomes futile. Any neurosis around your creative work or its quality will instantly fade away, because now you cannot regard it as important as you used to, even if you wanted to, no matter how hard you try. It is not as important as you used to think it is anymore, after you’ve come across evidence that proves to you beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is not the center of the universe anymore or of extraordinary quality or worth. It is profoundly mediocre compared to anything serious out there in the world. And you cannot escape that fact anymore. Any neurosis, much less perfectionism or perfectionistic tendencies that you once had, is now history. It will be impossible to maintain crippling perfectionism or neurosis regarding anything about you or your creative work or writing at this point or from now on. You no longer believe whatever you can potentially produce, create, or author can be that important. It is at this point, when you hit your self-esteem and self-worth rock-bottom, that you can eliminate almost all mental barriers preventing you from accessing your superpowers and highest creative potential. It is at this state, you can finally do your best.

Who are you going to blame for this kind of insecurity that you’ve planted within yourself to get along with the average person this time? Society, or yourself?

Let me tell you about induced low self-esteem or insecurity. You might find that a lot of the things that you think you’re bad at or that count as faults, flaws, shortcomings, or weaknesses about you really have no grounds in reality. They have nothing to do with reality. They’re just made up, and they were all made up by you. Fabricated. In order to make you look human, normal, not so arrogant, sure of yourself, or flawless, or like everybody else. Because no one is perfect, right? So you had to maintain a dumbed down or watered-down diluted version of yourself, in order to not scare everybody away from you, because there must be something wrong with you, like all of us, or else you’d be definitely an insecure lying individual with serious inferiority complex issues. So you played along. And after years and years, you believed your own lies, and substituted them for reality and the real truth about you.

To say that the overwhelming majority of your insecurities that are hard to shake out of you through any amount of positive self talk are of the aforementioned nature unless proved otherwise would be an understatement. Whatever insecurities you have about yourself that came from the outside, you’re aware that they’re not factual. They’re not true. But conditioning, manipulation, and gaslighting paved the way for them to take full control over you. They are hard to change, but you’re not responsible for them. You’re not responsible for their existence. And you want to make them go away, because you can’t live like this, questioning every move you make, every thought that you think, every decision you make, and every action you take or don’t take, and lead a healthy normal life. You understand this, and you’re carefully aware of the magnitude of the problem. And you definitely understand how virtually all of your problems would disappear in an instant if you could make such indoctrination that you’ve been through or got exposed or subjected to go away. But the twisting of reality that you did to yourself in order to appease others by trying to look and be humble, what are you going to do about this? And who’s to blame for that mess you’ve created?

Being lesser than what you really are doesn’t make you any special. It just makes you, sadly, like everybody else.

Don’t begin your day with the fun stuff first. Focus on getting the difficult and really challenging things first, and then you can rest, have fun, or enjoy yourself all you want afterwards.

If you have fun first, you will be limiting your options later on. If for example you’ve had enough doing any sort of activity that regenerates your energy today, without you really needing to at the moment, you won’t be able to resort to that activity again later on as something that you can easily do to get back to feeling normal again.

Your mood will be dependent on doing these things. If you are already in a good mood, you might find yourself suppressing yourself from experiencing or enjoying that good mood, because you’re supposed to only get there when your morning routine is over. You are supposed to only feel good after the fun stuff, after doing something that makes you feel better, not for no reason. You can’t just wake up and be in a good mood, because you have to do something that gets you to that kind of mood. That is dependence, and it will happen habitually, because the habit says feeling good is your reward for finishing the morning routine. If you are not allowed to feel good unless you have fun first or do something that you enjoy that justifies you feeling that good, you will be unable to feel good for no reason, and whenever you are in a good mood, your body will suppress that, because you are not supposed to feel good yet. You are supposed to do something in order to earn it. The problem isn’t in trying to get into a better mood if you’re in a bad mood by doing something that fixes your mood, because you’re supposed to be able to fix your mood on your own without having to do anything to achieve that objective. There’s no prize for being able to get your mood higher without the help of an external activity that facilitates the process. The problem is in being unable to enjoy the good mood that you already have because you are supposed to only get it as a result of completing your morning routine or only after having ample fun first. If for example you consumed your options for having fun today, you will have nothing to get you into a better state later on when you really need it. If now you really need to have fun or enjoy whatever activities that make you feel good, but you’ve already limited your options for today, because you’ve had enough of any of the suggested activities or fun stuff that you can do that day that can improve your mood or how you feel, you’ll end up being helplessly stuck in that negative state. You can’t exercise any further today. You’ve already had enough gaming for one day. You’ve already finished your morning routine. You’ve already meditated more than enough today, you can’t meditate any further today without going crazy. You’ve already taken a shower. You’ve already had sex. You’ve already eaten your favorite meal. There’s nothing left that could get you to a better mood that you haven’t done already today to the extent that doing it any further today will be boring and might make your mood even worse than it currently is. You ran out of options. You ran out of fun activities. You’ve ran out of entertainment. And now you feel trapped. You only have two options. Either continue to work, or go to sleep. Even doing nothing as a form of rest while staying awake has already been done more than enough today, also without really needing to do it, until you can no longer resort to that kind of solution to your mood or negative state problem.

Don’t eat dessert first, or else you’ll end up having nothing to replenish your energy with when you most need it.

All your productivity issues are a natural result of your phobia of exhaustion.

The people who criticize perfectionism want you to focus on progress instead of focusing on getting everything perfect. It’s about not even getting started because it has to be perfect or else you wouldn’t accept whatever you end up with or consider it an achievement of acceptable level.

I want you to hold that framework in your head for a second. This concept could help you understand why your phobia of fatigue is having a negative impact on your productivity and progress just as your reluctance to work on something unless you’re dead sure that you’re going to get it perfect potentially could. Let’s imagine you can easily get tired, even with minimal amount of work. You’ve literally done nothing, and you still feel tired. And because of that, you decided to not try to do anything that could make the situation worse. Anything that could potentially get you even more tired, has to be avoided in this case, or else, God forbid, you’d end up even more tired, like totally exhausted or something. I want you to explain to me why that is a bad thing. You can’t. Because you can’t do that without telling me something along the way that revolves around the fact that you wouldn’t be able to do anything if you’re exhausted. And in order to avoid getting there, you have to prevent yourself from doing almost everything that you also wouldn’t attempt doing in case you were really tired. As much as that might make sense to you, it doesn’t make sense to me.

The idea that you think perfectionism can hold you back from maximum productivity or progress but your irrational reluctance to get tired couldn’t affect your performance, productivity, or progress is next level delusion to say the least. Let’s assume you avoid anything that is fundamental to solving your problems and making progress because of your reluctance to get tired. That somehow has no effect whatsoever on your progress, but avoiding working on anything because of wanting to get it perfect, but since you’re sure you can’t get it perfect now because of a bunch of made up reasons is procrastination until proven otherwise. I want you to understand the cognitive dissonance here. It is outrageous to say the least. It is a case of maximum hypocrisy based upon a desire to turn what people want to hear against them, while gathering testimonials from those who weren’t negatively affected. Everybody is trying to convince you that you should build and organize your whole life around avoidance of burnout and excessive workloads. With disregard to where that might eventually lead to. As long as you’re making sales, your theory is solid. All this is taking place despite the fact that perfectionism or perfection seeking behavior can only lead to a focus on doing something better in terms of quality, which would eventually lead to a massive increase in the quantity of the desired outcome, that is of maximum quality, which would inevitably impact whatever progress you want or care about positively. Perfectionism doesn’t work in isolation. It’s not that every tiny step should be the best it could ever be, but it’s a general process that leads to an increase in ambition enough to make the desired outcome always better than it could ever be without having that kind of unrealistically high standard. It should be obvious to you now that in both cases, that of perfectionism, and that of lack of fear of getting tired, you will end up working more, both harder and smarter, in order to get better results, which translates to making more progress.

Let’s think about that for a moment. If you’re avoiding to do the work necessary for getting a certain desired outcome, you will definitely make less progress. This is true, whether the reason for this is attempting to avoid fatigue, or to avoid failure to attain a certain perfect standard.

When you’re afraid of fatigue, you will definitely hold yourself back from utilizing your full potential or capabilities. You’d definitely not go all in. That certainly would not maximize your performance, productivity, or progress.

Don’t try to win the fight. They have nothing to lose. Focus on not ending up wasting your life because of trying to make them stop. Leave, and never come back. Never look back.

No one would ever dare to criticize or think of criticizing you because of something that is really good about you with the intention of making you hate yourself because of it unless they can never be at the receiving end of such criticism, no matter how hard they try. Unless you can never find anything good about them that you can attack. Unless they can never get any better than the current level of competence they currently are stuck with, if they have any. They must have nothing to lose in order to have no problem with attacking you in order to make you hate yourself because you’re not as globally bad as they are at everything there is. They are attacking the good stuff about you before the bad, for a reason. If you managed to hate being good at anything, you’ll end up being like them. And since you’ll always be better than them, they’ll always find something to attack about you that they can never be attacked back because of. Your helplessness in the face of such attacks stems from you believing that since you couldn’t attack them back, even potentially or theoretically, that this means that you are weak, either mentally or physically. You only fail to attack them back because there’s nothing good about them at all in the first place that you can attempt to attack.

Remember, you are enough, and even if perfect doesn’t exist, you are perfect compared to your abusers. At least you have something that they find worthy of attacking, and you cannot simply find something about them of that nature that you can attack back.

There isn’t a place that is lower than where they currently are at that you can send them to through any type or amount of words or actions that you can ever say or do, so don’t bother. Don’t waste your breath. Block. Ghost. Go no contact with every single one of your abusers, no matter who they are.

Why you need to have different outlets for achievement, just as you need multiple outlets for creative expression.

You cannot get reward from the same source only all the time. In this case this will be regarded by your mind as a situation where you’re stuck between not wanting to rest and also not being able to get any kind of reward that you can get from achieving something. This is because you’re unable to get any more reward from the same source of reward that you’re trying to get further reward from at the moment, regardless of why this is the case. Regardless of why you can’t extract any further amount of reward from that same type of activity. This still doesn’t exclude the possibility that you still need to get further reward from achieving a certain outcome, you still need to achieve something, anything. The only difference here is that you can no longer try to satisfy that hunger for achievement through the same channel. You still need to achieve. You just need to achieve something totally different this time, a whole different type of achievement, or activity, because you can no longer extract any more reward from the same type of achievement or activity that you’ve recently got reward from or because of.

In this case, it is safe to assume that you’re not currently struggling because of too much fatigue. It is because you’re stuck in a zone where you cannot rest now because you’re dissatisfied with your performance, although you’ve achieved a lot in a certain area to the extent that it doesn’t make any sense to try to reach a higher outcome in this particular realm at the moment, but you cannot accomplish anything new now in order to satisfy that achievement hunger you still have, because you insist upon getting that need met through doing more of the same thing or type of achievement, and that is becoming increasingly more difficult in this case, because you cannot terminate the cycle of working toward a certain goal or outcome without getting any reward from it, the entirety of the accomplishment cycle will not even begin if you cannot obtain any reward from it when you complete it, because for some neurological reason, your brain fails to get further reward from achieving more in the same type or category of accomplishment that it already thinks it has accomplished more than enough in it for now.

So you end up unable to make any further achievement in this case, and unable to rest as well.

The only way out of this is to seek further achievement elsewhere or by doing a whole different thing, activity, or type of accomplishment.

You need to establish several channels for satisfying your need for achievement, not take longer breaks to recover.