The only way out of your perpetual state of restlessness is making enough achievements every day until fatigued. There’s no quick fix this time. You cannot bypass that no matter what you do or how hard you try.

Your brain will never understand how to work, function, or operate normally without having accomplished enough achievements at present or recently enough. Achievement is what reminds your brain of how it’s supposed to work, operate, or function. No amount of Dopamine, Serotonin, or any neuro-chemical can bypass that or make up for a lack of achievement in your life, no matter what, whether naturally or artificially boosted or elevated.

You don’t achieve to elevate those chemicals or any other neuro-chemical whatsoever. You achieve to teach your brain and body how things work, because they seem to forget all of that every single time, and start from scratch every day, even if that significantly contributes to exacerbating whatever problems that are making the life of your brain or body definitely not easier. Just as you cannot rely on having had dinner last year for nourishment and strength today, you need to feed your brain and body with information about how to work, operate, or function that they can only derive from achievement. No other source can provide them with such information or knowledge, not even your own memory or past experience. You cannot think your way out of this one. Only action will make a difference.

Don’t organize your life around avoidance of burnout or labor. Organize your life around being able to make ample achievement every day at will until fatigued. This is true freedom and independence. You cannot feel or be truly alive without that. At least as long as you are intelligent enough to have that as a basic survival need.

Moving out should be your highest priority. Buy your own place, and then move out of where the abuse took place and into that new place that you now fully and solely own as soon as possible.

You no longer need to walk on eggshells to appease the narcissist. You need to focus on your exit strategy. High yield actions that bring massive results and radical difference in your situation. The shorter the way in this case, the better. If there’s a shortcut, take it! It doesn’t have to be the best option available, it just has to work this time around.

You need for example to buy your own place. Don’t wait until you become so successful and make a ton of money first, before you make the jump. The purpose of your life is to make it out of the grip of the narcissist in one piece and never go back there again. Never look back. Focusing on finishing college first, getting your dream job, finding the love of your life, getting your business off the ground is why you’ll never make it out alive.

Don’t waste your energy on winning fights against them. Don’t argue. Don’t yell back. Don’t put them in their place. Don’t feed them. Focus on getting out of that concentration camp as soon as possible. Nothing else matters. At least until you have your own place where you can take legal action against them if they harass you over there.

Move out of this hell hole, into your new place that you can call your own legally.

Don’t attempt to have a successful career or a normal life while you’re still there, stuck with your abusers. Moving out should be your highest priority. You need to no longer be physically trapped with them in one place ever again. You need to get your own place and move out into it by any means necessary, legally, of course.

You won’t always be able to take shelter or seek refuge in a place owned by a friend or a family member, because they might still have a distorted view of you after having been exposed to ample evidence against your sanity due to endless smear campaigns that started perhaps even before you were born. You may also need some time that you can spend absolutely on your own after escaping the abuse. You may not want to be around people for a long time after you successfully leave the location where the abuse took place for good. Any attempt to make you snap out of it by a concerned friend for example might trigger you, because you may still perceive it as further attempts to gaslight you. This could confirm their suspicions about you and your sanity, because the smear campaigns will have definitely took care of how much they trust that you’re not crazy or delusional.

Don’t attempt to buy your dream house on the beach yet before you escape. Buy something that you can afford sooner rather than later. Get out. Save yourself. And then you can start thinking about having or getting a normal life like everybody else.

By trying to appease the algorithm, you’ll inevitably end up betraying your most authentic self.

Rule number one in marketing:

Not all algorithms are created equal.

Applying what works for one platform to another one will always be the number one reason why you’ll always fail to grow on any of them.

Just the thought of trying to understand them as if they’re all algorithms, and are supposed to be all the same thing with the same purpose, asking yourself why on earth would they be any different from the ones you already encountered, will keep you misunderstanding every single one of them. Just the thought of trying to understand algorithms as if they’re all one and the same will always make you get them wrong.

It will only make you come up with what could be described at best as a misrepresentation of how algorithms work.

Each platform has its own version of algorithms. They can’t be the same, even if they had the same goals. They can’t all use the same algorithms, even if they wanted to.

By the way, the notion that they show your posts to a bunch of people, and then they show them to more because it got good engagement is misleading. The algorithm stops sending your posts out to people prematurely even if it does well, if you’re below a certain threshold or rank of importance to the platform. They know who will appreciate your stuff. It still is not enough to mobilize the algorithm in your favor. The algorithm protects other people from being showered by posts they don’t care about. It is not designed with helping you to grow in mind. They just don’t want to scare people away from their platform multiple times in a row. It’s like when you browse the good old TV and find nothing to watch on all 200 plus channels. They don’t want that to happen on their platforms. Not on my watch. They try everything in their power to keep you over there. Imagine the nature of how high the turnover of the understanding of the algorithm to what type of content is your favorite actually is. They will reset multiple times in a row in one sitting, trying to appease you by any means necessary.

And you still think the algorithm is here to serve you. It’s designed with the consumer in mind, not people like me and you.

You need to use your imagination, not statistics.

It’s just business, nothing personal.

You cannot calculate your way into how algorithms work.

And no, they are not as ever changing as you think they are. Only your perception of them is ever-changing too much. And that affects how you think they currently are, and sometimes what you believe tends to prove itself to be the case, or to be the truth, even if it’s entirely false.

They most likely didn’t change anything about the algorithm. It was all in your head. It started to work in your favor a little bit more and you started noticing growth because you took action, and you remained consistent for quite some time, because you believed this time the balance will finally be tilted in your favor. You believed the rumors, and thought the results you were getting were because they turned out to be true.

You don’t need to adapt to stress in your life. You need to eliminate the causes of stress and suffering in your life altogether.

Stress is never a good thing, contrary to popular belief. The majority of your problems is because you think stress is normal. And as a result you never try to address its causes, because you think you cannot outrun the inevitable. You think there’s no escaping stress in your life no matter what. That’s why you gave up trying long ago to do something about it. You heard wrong. To add insult to injury, you were told that you should focus on what you want in life, not what you don’t want. Remember that next time you think those who spread such nonsense have your best interest in mind. As a result, you never attempted to address anything in your life that is significantly and unnecessarily increasing the stress levels that you’re dealing with on a day-to-day basis, because it never occurred to you. It never crossed your mind. You were told to adopt the most peaceful and harmless measure to make things better for you. In the end, you ended up making no difference in your life whatsoever. Neither positive, nor negative. You were told that your brain was wired in the wrong direction or the wrong way. Biased towards the negative, only focused on what’s bad, wrong, dangerous, or negative. And you were told to still love yourself regardless by the very same people who presented you with ample manufactured evidence that explains why you are built the wrong way and that your default nature is an abomination. Evidence that is perfectly designed to exacerbate whatever self-loathing you already had before you met them. As if when your brain tells you I can make you happy not by forcing you to move mountains, but by eliminating a tiny little thing that I find to be a little bit annoying, that should be objectively determined to be something irrational, and judged by the tribunal of human emotion to be a sign of focusing on the negative that needs to be abolished by any means necessary. Oh my God, he’s showing signs of focusing on the negative, strike with great vengeance!

Everything the establishment says is wrong with you is actually what’s right with you. You’re losing in life because such negative things exist, not because you’re focusing on them.

You are not getting the full benefits of the grey rock method because you are proceeding without having going no contact in mind as the ultimate solution for dealing with narcissistic abuse or any form of abuse in general by other people. Failure to have no contact as the ultimate goal or measure that you must implement in order to save yourself is why the grey rock method is failing you. There’s nothing wrong with the grey rock method. It’s because you’re implementing it in order to fix your relationship with the narcissist, not to end it.

The problem is that since you don’t have the luxury, opportunity, or option to go full no contact, at a hundred percent level, you give up on wanting or aiming to go no contact at all. You are trapped in all or none thinking. And since you think you have no chance, you give up entirely on the whole thing, thinking it’s already screwed up for you and you have nothing to lose. You think this is you being brave. You think this is some form of courage and facing your problems head on. When in fact, you’re just afraid of standing up for yourself. You are settling for any solution that is lesser than or that is other than no contact because you are afraid of the consequences of doing something definitive that there’s no turning back from, once you pick it or start practically implementing it. How are you going to consider the abuser irrelevant someday if you’re afraid of how they’d feel toward you if you no longer do your best trying to convince them that they are working so hard day and night trying to intentionally drive you crazy? How are you going to develop indifference toward whatever they do or whatever that happens to them, no matter what, if you think going no contact with a toxic person somehow means you are a monster? How come you consider yourself as someone who has no emotions, because you refuse to let people who have no empathy or remorse ruin your life and sabotage your will to remain among the living any longer? How come you refuse to let go of people who gaslight you into hesitation to the extent that you no longer find yourself capable of making even the simplest of decisions any more? You are unable to even brush your teeth because of too much hesitation and indecisiveness due to chronic gaslighting, and you’ve become too helpless, and too unable to think at all, not as a result of mindfulness, but as a result of being brainwashed and indoctrinated for years into believing that no matter what you think or will think, you’re wrong and you don’t deserve to live, with disregard to the content of what you think, and you are still reluctant to save yourself. But they love you! You think you’re doing this because you’re a good person and you don’t want to hurt those who hurt you in the past, although they’re still hurting you at present, and will still hurt you endlessly in the future. These people feed on hurting you, and you know it. But you are too arrogant and proud to give up on trying to talk to them, to resolve things peacefully through civilized and rational conversation. You think you’re better than those who failed at such attempts before you. Face it, you’re still a victim, because you think you are too good and strong to be victimized. Too strong or smart to be defeated by a bunch of narcissists. I understand that you can win easily if it were always one person only who is abusing you, but you fail to remember or notice that they have no resistance when it comes to stopping themselves from resorting to triangulation and smear campaigns. These people don’t hate you because of your flaws or shortcomings. These people don’t hate the bad stuff about you, if there’s any. These people have no reason to hate you except for the good things about you. They might hate you sometimes because of what’s wrong with you, but that is some form of extra reasons for further justifying their hatred for you, which exists whether or not there was something wrong with you. They hate you because you’re a normal human being. Let that sink in. They hate you not because you’re too nice, but because they feed on destroying anything that is good in this life and this world by any means necessary, even if that includes spending hours every day convincing you how much they really love you and that it’s all in your head.

You’re not better than those who went no contact. You’re just afraid. I have no respect for that.