There are people who have nothing to lose. They can’t get in a bad mood. Be careful. They can do anything to you.

“Life is a stage, and when the curtain falls upon an act, it is finished and forgotten. The emptiness of such a life is beyond imagination.” – Alexander Lowen, describing the existence of a narcissist

It’s like they find every hole in the rules that people play by and do their best to exploit them for fun. They are not doing so for survival or because they have their own emotions suppressed or they haven’t become their true selves yet or at all. This is their normal healthy state. This is their own nature. This is their own true self. These are their emotions and feelings being fully expressed unchecked without them holding anything back. This is an accurate representation of what is truly going on inside of them. They are not victims of abuse or suffering who are just behaving this way because they refuse to heal themselves. They are happy that they have learned all these evil behaviors from their sick environment so they can easily become professionals at abusing and destroying other people by just resorting to the teachings they learned and the experience they got during their childhood or in the past. They are struggling with nothing. And they keep wondering why others aren’t like them. And why others won’t let them have their way when they are demonstrably superior to virtually everybody else they can come across in this world. They have nothing to heal. They have no problem. They are happy this way. They don’t have a problem that needs to be fixed. They are the problem. And there’s no solution.

The struggle is for the repressed victims who don’t know how to return to being fully themselves because of the perpetual state of criticism they have gone through earlier in the past whenever they tried acting or behaving like themselves in any way. Not for the abusers who are already being fully themselves when they are this way abusing others. The reason they always win is because you think they can be something different from what they are in front of you. Your faith in them is your weakness. There’s nothing to be saved or fixed in them. In their world, they genuinely ask themselves what’s wrong with their victims. They really believe we’re handicapped in many ways. The abuse is just an attempt to train us and fix us, so that we can become better equipped to handle the real world. What’s wrong with the rest of the world is a question they always ask themselves. You cannot sympathize with or peacefully coexist with people who are that delusional. They genuinely believe you’re hopeless to the extent of believing destroying you is a heroic service to humanity.

Sometimes these people are really super human. Still, it doesn’t justify them crushing others just to prove a point.

My perspective is that delusion will always get attacked by your unconscious and will lower your abilities and drag you down. Not to mention the unlimited amount of self loathing and criticism that comes from it. Gaslighting is just a form of manipulation that is intended to make you doubt your own perception and understanding of reality. Don’t perform it on yourself and wonder why the abuse seems to be still ongoing and can’t seem to ever leave you, even when you’re now safe. Not hating people who are evil and have intentionally destroyed your life is not required to reach greater levels of healing. It’s arguably totally physically and mentally unhealthy. You can’t claim to be fully embracing your feelings when you suppress your hatred. It’s cognitive dissonance that will only make it impossible for you to be fully what you’re meant to be. Also the goal isn’t waking up and hating them all day long. Don’t waste your time. The goal is to live as if they don’t exist. The goal is for you to reach a point where they are totally irrelevant. You totally don’t have to forgive them to heal or move on. I certainly believe it’s harmful for you to attempt to forgive them, because deep down this will only mean one thing: it was okay to abuse you. Not a big deal. And that was their message all along.

They are not victims like us who – unlike us – abuse others because they haven’t tried to heal themselves or because they are suppressing their emotions or true self. This is their true nature. This is who they are, not what they do or how they behave.

You should not describe yourself with anything negative, even if that were true. Here’s why.

Notice that when you tell yourself how stupid you are jokingly, your subconscious will take this seriously and turn you into a real idiot. Ironically enough, it’s the subconscious that suggested throwing such comments at you in the first place, and now it’s you who is paying the price.

But I shouldn’t pay attention to negative thoughts, you say.

Yes, when they are being said in the background as noise without your control or consent.

But when you validate, acknowledge, or say those same thoughts consciously by yourself, with your consent signature stamped upon them, you will be an idiot. That is, the subconscious will work itself relentlessly trying to make these jokes or negative comments a reality.

Now you know why you hate negative comments from other people.

Because if you didn’t hate them, you’ll be okay with them, and that might be an indication for your subconscious that you are really what those haters are describing you to be.

It’s not insecurity. It’s self preservation.

You know what happens from repetition of lies, even though you know they’re not true. You start for some reason to act as if they are true though. Now you know why.

Not only should you try hard to maintain positive thinking, you should also avoid negative thinking to the best of your ability as well.

They leave nothing behind. The lies get everywhere. “Oh you have a label for us now? We are also victims! Please normalize our disorder and remove the stigma,” they say.

Gaslighting takes place even at the level of denial of its whole existence. Narcissists try to pose as kind and harmless people and then say there’s no such thing as narcissistic abuse. It’s just bad people and it has nothing to do with narcissists. Be careful, it is all part of the plan, the gaslighting, and the manipulation.

The problem is that the issue is so closed from every direction imaginable it’s almost impossible to make a narcissist realize that they have a serious problem. One thing you might be getting wrong here is believing that you can turn someone normal into a narcissist by prolonged abuse, which cannot happen. You may feel insecure or lack empathy towards others because they have no idea what real suffering looks like, because you’ve been exposed to the real deal torture, but that is more like having cPTSD, and lack of confidence due to constant criticism. You don’t have Narcissistic personality disorder if these are the only issues you’re struggling with. But when you believe it’s okay to abuse others without remorse to get your supply, in this case you may be a narcissist. That is indefensible. You cannot have NPD and not abuse others, even if you wanted to.

Just as the term gender has evolved to mean a whole different story than the term biological sex, the term narcissist has changed to cover a different thing than just a bunch of insecure people with overinflated egos. It now means abusers of all types who use these techniques described by recovery experts. There can’t be a narcissist that doesn’t or won’t abuse others. It’s impossible. If someone happens to be a narcissist that never hurts anyone, then this person is in fact not a narcissist. This person only has some traits that fall under the category of narcissistic personality disorder, but doesn’t qualify for the diagnosis. It is then called narcissistic tendencies, which can be formed or developed under pressure of abuse for years, but still does not make the person have narcissistic personality disorder. Victims don’t become narcissists, nor empaths. These are disorders that are irrespective of the person’s previous history. The same might be said about sociopathy, psychopathy, and antisocial personality disorder. A bad environment exposes, triggers, and exacerbates these conditions. It doesn’t create them from scratch. There are bad people in this world. Science tries to study them just as it tries to study everything else. The presence of a scientific categorization and characterization of these disorders is not discrimination. It’s an understanding of what is.

Stop overthinking everything. Keep moving.

Treating the narcissist as irrelevant feels so good like it’s the purpose of life or cosmic justice.

“I’m not free love.” – Jennifer Rene, fall to pieces

“Everybody wants to help everybody, but when are you gonna help you?” – Grant Cardone

Stop being so helpless.

“That which you do not hate, you’ll eventually tolerate. When you’re no longer willing to tolerate something, that’s when your life changes. The difference in people is their standards. Period.” – Tony Robbins

You don’t think criticizing yourself after every move you make is related to you having been criticized after everything you did or did not do in the past?

You are always thinking of what else you’re supposed to be doing right now.

Other suggestions. Ideas.

You’re in planning mode. Get those suggestions written down in a paper notebook and move it aside.

Focus on the task at hand. Finish something.

You’ll always regret not having focused on the current task after this task is over.

You got it over with, but still, it feels like you’ve done nothing. Like you’re stuck all the time, and that is because you’re in your head all the time while doing something else or something external. You’ll always feel like a prisoner if you keep doing things this way.

How you do the things makes all the difference.

The answer is always create more, consume more. This is the only way for the ultra creative individual to survive.

You will only get new ideas when you create long enough and get fed up with the quality of what you’ve already produced a ton of.

The pathway is something like this: You are a normal person. You keep creating normally and improving gradually like any kid who is learning how to walk.

If you have suffered in your life enough or beyond a certain threshold, your focus goes toward survival only, and hence finding no reason to make anything that does not necessarily increase your chances of survival.

In this case, you have no option but to teach yourself that you have no problem with doing stuff with no expected outcome whatsoever, because the anhedonia makes you aspire for nothing but wanting whatever that is going on at the moment or whatever that you’re doing to be over, because nothing that you ever do makes any difference anymore.

That is, being okay with getting no reward from the normal achievement pathways, by creating anyway with no concern for reaching any positive outcome, in order to bypass the reluctance of the idiotic primitive centers to give you pleasure from normally rewarding behaviors, while attacking them from another frontier simultaneously, by doing all the negative thinking for them voluntarily, so that they find no reason to bother explaining to you why it’s pointless, because it seems that you are already on the same page with them, to the extent that you are now doing all the talking, instead of waiting for them to fulfill that role, or worse, oppose them when they try to convince you why it is pointless to try to do anything good or not be miserable.

If you create or work with the intention of feeling good or feeling rewarded afterwards, you will get disappointed when that happens, and in your case that never happens, at all, no matter how hard you try. But if you became okay with the fact that you will reach nothing after working as hard as you could, after doing your best, and after giving the current creative session your all, you will be less likely to avoid such an activity for fear of the subsequent pain or lack of reward that follows through every single time. You will write the epic novel or whatever the achievement that you aspire to make is anyway, because you don’t care about feeling good afterwards in the first place, so now you will not stop because there’s no point in trying because no matter how hard you try and no matter how great the accomplishment is, you’ll still feel nothing, or worse, you’ll feel miserable proportionate to how much you were supposed to feel good or be happy as a result of such amazing work or such an amazing achievement. In other words, you will do what you want, or what you can figure out that you are supposed to want through memory or logical deduction, despite lacking the ability to want to do anything at all anymore. Your work will still be impressive beyond reason, despite the lack of desire behind you embarking on the journey of trying to make it to reach a better state of mind or well-being. It’s not about you anymore. Neither it is about them. It’s about not waiting for the train to arrive to the station because the station is no longer there. Don’t expect an outcome. Just do it. Things will not get better with time. You have been nuked beyond repair. It’s over. You don’t give a damn anymore.

The idea is simple: you are stubborn, and you understand that you can trick your brain into getting what you want, without it agreeing with you from the start or every step of the way. You want to feel good after doing the thing that is supposed to make you feel good, just like the old days. You know there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just that your mind won’t let you, because it’s stuck in a time loop or something, and is refusing to grant you the happiness that you are capable of, and are supposed to get and enjoy, for some insanely ridiculous reason that has to do with the power of habit more than it has to do with past traumas or suffering. One of the common techniques commonly practiced is focusing on something positive instead of the negative. But since that is failing as has been explained here, because in the above described case you’re not in control of how you feel, and you’re incapable of feeling good even when you’re focusing on something positive, you have no option but to bypass all of the above. Two ways will help you do that: not expecting or wanting to feel good after finishing the amazing achievement. And the second one is trying to actively feel bad after the achievement, so that your mind which is conditioned to give you the opposite of whatever feeling you’re supposed to get from a positive experience, pleasurable activity, or significant achievement, will give you the opposite of misery; your long awaited happiness. Remember when Gary Vaynerchuck says he fantasizes about his family and loved ones dying every morning, so that whatever that happens during that day will be considered to be the best there is? You tell your mind: Bring it on. Show me what you got. Come at me bro. Until you find that whatever that takes place in your mind does not exist in the real world, and has no relation to what takes place in the real world. And thus can be dismissed as noise or chatter that changes nothing. I want you to enjoy your own mind attacking you aggressively for daring to bring in a single negative thought on your own voluntarily, because your mind hates you and wants to oppose everything you say or do by saying or doing the exact opposite of it, and thus in this case, will instead bring you happiness from every direction imaginable, the moment you start thinking negatively. The only price for this is that it will be happiness against your will. You cannot control it and you are not the one who is making it happen. It is happening to you. You just receive it. You only have to submit. In order to be able to submit or surrender, you have to work yourself to death, that is, satisfy the thinking hunger alongside the achievement hunger, until you have fulfilled your purpose as a genius human being, and then you are allowed to experiment with being happy again all you want. The formula is simple: get infinitely tired. Exhaust yourself like never before. Use all your powers and capabilities to the maximum. And amaze yourself by achieving something legendary. And then start trying to be negative. You won’t be able to. I promise. I’m not trying to keep you miserable or stuck in victimhood mode. I’m trying to help you. I’m trying to get you to become able to be happy again. I want you to no longer panic at the idea of feeling good or being happy again. All I’m trying to say here is that telling you to think positive bruh is the equivalent of telling you to go fuck yourself, because it’s not enough. I’m resorting to desperate measures, and weird techniques, trying to give you something better, that might actually make a difference in your life, because I really want you to be happy, not defend an ideology and criticize you when it doesn’t get you any results.

This idea is not outlandish or radical in any sense. You are always told to ignore your negative thoughts when they come as part of your Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Depression, or any form of anxiety disorder. Just let them pass by unopposed, without trying to interfere in the process, interact with those thoughts, or suppress them in any way. Just let them keep running until they go away on their own. What I’m suggesting in addition to this is that you start actively thinking negatively until your primitive mind starts opposing you by being genuinely positive, because you are now hurting us and lowering our mood by this type of thinking, and that is something that your primitive mind will try to oppose, because the reason it was giving you pain or nothing in return for you having done pleasurable activities or major or amazing accomplishments is the fact that your mind has learned that whatever that you wanted to happen, its exact opposite is going to happen, having suffered unnecessarily at every chance you had at a good day when you were a child or any younger than you are right now. The denial of reward in the past due to outside forces is being repeated at present by your subconscious or primitive brain performing denial of reward tricks upon you simply because it got programmed or conditioned to associate doing pleasurable activities or making any achievement with pain, because these are the things that took place in the past, and these pathways have been reinforced and forged through repetition due to no fault of your own, but only due to outside circumstances, conditions, and environment. If every time you’ve had sex you’ve had diarrhea right afterwards, sex will always be associated in your mind with taking a shit. You learned through no fault of your own that pleasurable activities release pain in your mind and body through conditioning, achievement was always followed by criticism or a beat up for no apparent reason other than you being successful or naturally good at something. Why do you think now, all of a sudden, when you make a huge achievement, you will feel pleasure or get reward afterwards? Also, you were not just conditioned to feel pain whenever something good happened only, but you were conditioned that whatever that you desired had to be denied and instead, you were presented with the opposite option or thing that you didn’t want at all. If you wanted ice cream, you were given a fruit. That might be okay in this case, but when you expected love, you were given hate and violence. When you expected to cry after a beat up, you were told to shut up and stop making noise. When you expected to sleep at bed time as you were told to do, where you obediently went to bed to get some sleep preparing for a hard day tomorrow at school, noise started taking place by the so called adults at home after midnight until 3 am like there’s no tomorrow. When you finally had some friends at school you were told they are bad people and you have to leave them, or else. Or simply we don’t have any money to cover the costs of you being friends with people who came from richer families. Turns out everybody else in this world is considered a richer family in this scenario. You got beaten up for studying too much or doing your homework, or for studying the wrong subject. It was always why didn’t you do exactly as you were told to do, and they never failed at believing that you never follow orders. After years of things going this way, you will learn to get feelings opposite to the normal feelings that you were supposed to get from doing anything. You will not even get the benefits of meditation. You will find your anxiety increasing because of meditation, instead of decreasing, and it is not because you are on your way to enlightenment.

One thing remains the same: if you achieve enough, above a certain minimum, you will awaken your entire brain enough to be able to function normally, as in the bare minimum of functioning, despite all your traumas. You are not hyper productive because this is an escape mechanism by which you run away from your problems and escape reality, nor because you mistakenly believe your worth is determined by your productivity, but because only when you achieve enough, and reach that extraordinary level of achievement, will you be able to reach basic or minimal functioning and be normal, that is, without the purpose of your brain’s life being to bombard you with negative thoughts and hold you back from doing anything and everything like there’s no tomorrow.

Either way, you still need to create more. There’s no escaping this fact, if you are really extraordinary.