Listen to your own voice, not theirs. The reason why you can’t stop hating yourself no matter what you do is because they will never stop hating you. Don’t fight those voices. Awaken your own.

This is not your opinion. This is what your abusers think of you. You now are an expert in how they think, and you can totally predict what they can think, say, or do in every situation. Don’t do this to yourself. It’s time for you to break free.

You learned how some people think and whenever you attempt to do, say, or think anything, you judge it automatically through their opinion, because you think they have authority over you, and that their opinion, even if wrong, even if you strongly disagree with it, should always take precedence over your own. You should never listen to yourself. You only listen to what they have to say. And you modify your own behavior, thoughts, and words to match and be in total compliance and submission to what you’re told to say, think, or do. And you think that these orders are yours, because they are coming from you now, long after your abusers have left you.

You don’t do this in an attempt to survive. This isn’t some form of adaptation to a toxic environment. This happens to you as a form of warning. You now know what happens in case you decide to defy those orders. You understand, through personal experience, the consequences and ramifications of disobedience. You are well aware of, and you will never forget, what can potentially take place in case you decided to think for yourself this time, and not strictly follow the instructions as to how you should think, feel, speak, act, and behave, for the rest of your life. And that way of thinking, a program, has replaced whatever way of thinking you were meant or supposed to have, in case you weren’t traumatized that heavily.

To you now, it should be clear that whatever thoughts you currently have are not necessarily yours, because a great deal of them are just pandering to what will get you away from being punished or traumatized this time. It is just how they think. These are not your thoughts. This is not some form of inner critic or super ego. And it is time for you to break free from these chains.

If you think there’s something wrong with you that cannot be fixed, that might give you the freedom to do what you want, because you don’t give a damn anymore. But if you thought that there’s nothing wrong with you, now you have to do everything that is consistent with being someone who has a chance to live their best life ever, because there’s no excuse for you now. You might think that by thinking that there’s nothing wrong with you that you will now lose the edge that you had before from not giving a damn anymore, that gives you the advantage of freedom to do what you want carefree without worrying about the future or the consequences of your actions much, and thus you have a greater chance at enjoying your life, because you’re screwed up and now nothing stops you from living it up in a reckless way like there’s no tomorrow. But, as the narcissist can never escape their karma, there’s no escaping your self-loathing. You are not enjoying what freedom can give you to the fullest if all your thoughts are just a regurgitation of what your abusers are very likely to have thought in every single situation. Self-loathing doesn’t give you a lesser version of yourself to play with. Self-loathing renders you totally non-existent. If your thoughts aren’t yours, who am I talking to? You, or a helpless clone of your abusers? What kind of life you think you’d have when all you feel toward yourself is hatred, and all you feel towards your abusers is pure love? When you hate yourself, you will never have any reason to enjoy life or do anything that is good for you. It will be wrong, and you won’t deserve it. You will never have the right to enjoy your life, or do what’s best for you. And it is not because of a mere feeling. It’s because of why you hate yourself in the first place. It’s because you’re bad, wrong, and cannot be fixed into a decent human being worthy of respect, ever, no matter what you do. That is not just a feeling. That is now a reaction to established facts about yourself. And they are facts, my friend, because they came from your parents.

Watch and learn. They have to describe what they truly are and what they did to you and others, from time to time. Bring in some popcorn.

Why do narcissists project when it gives away critical information about them that they should be instead trying to move mountains to hide or conceal?

It is a form of self-betrayal they engage in to make it seem like they performed the dark ritual and now nature has nothing against them to claim.

To escape nature’s wrath, they need to make an offering that shows nature that they paid for their crimes against nature through some form of sacrifice they made, which is their confession. Forgive me, for I have sinned. But, during the ritual, they perform a dark demonic trick that turns the ritual from a purifying ritual into a dark ritual that turns everything upside down. In order to do so, in order to turn it into a dark one, they have to lie. They have to not mean the apology. They have to project. They have to accuse you of what they did. In a sense, they did everything right. They confessed. They said everything that perfectly describes them and what they did. The ritual didn’t fail because of that. When it was projected onto you, that still doesn’t mean they didn’t tell on themselves. They did, and you noticed that.

The ritual failed, however, because it didn’t set things right afterwards. They are still enjoying the life that they don’t deserve, that they have claimed through pretending to be something they’re not, and so have moved upwards in the dominance hierarchy as a result, and are still sitting there.

To nature, that means nothing happened. Nothing has changed. The ritual has failed. They are still where they don’t belong. They are still not in their right place. They are still having what they don’t deserve, didn’t earn, and don’t qualify for. They are still pretending to be better than you.

They have to remain detached from reality as much as possible. It has to be about you, not them. But they are missing the most important part of the purification process.

Confession is not enough. Nature doesn’t want you to say sorry. Nature is always in a constant attempt and process of actively trying to set things right. It wants to put you back where you belong.

In order for the ritual to actually work, they need to make a confession. It comes out as compulsory. They are compelled to tell on themselves. This is nature’s punishment for taking what’s not yours. Since they can’t help but tell on themselves and expose their true nature, false self, and crimes against nature and its inhabitants, in an attempt to resist the inevitable process, they try to turn the purification process into a dark ritual by projecting. Making it seem like you are the one who is like this or has done all this.

Since they do this every single time, they never get purified of their sins, but falling further down the path of darkness and corruption, you can see it in their faces, when they turn into an absolute demonic monster, during the height of accusing you of exactly what they did, or describing you to be exactly what could be used as a perfect exact description of what they are really like. This is because they’re betraying their nature, becoming further detached from reality, the objective truth, and any connection from their true self or nature, and end up being something that closely resembles what you can refer to as the living dead. This is when the psychosis expands further to no end, where they become endlessly delusional. Neurosis increases as well because they have to force themselves to keep living in total detachment from reality all the time, when there’s no evidence to support any of their corrupt and twisted version of reality, and that huge suppression lest the truth would come out triggers an endless storm of Neurosis. Neurosis, combined with an endless amount of total detachment from reality; maximum psychosis, give rise to mountains of defense mechanisms that are in constant motion trying to keep the narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath where they know they don’t belong, by any means necessary. Trying to keep them from ever exposing themselves.

But nature has to make them expose themselves. And every time it does so, they project.